Every year 9/11 comes around I get a little choked up, I feel a little fuzzy, I have a heavy heart, I sit down and recall that day 12 years ago like it was yesterday. It was a day that changed so many things, it was a day that Americans no longer felt free, it was a day that made us think if this could happen now it could happen again. We all remember where we were, we remember watching the news for what seemed to be 100 straight hours. America wanted and demanded answers, but at the same time we were grieving the thousands of lives lost in this senseless act of violence. For the first time we did not have the upper hand, we were vulnerable, and for what seemed like weeks America was searching for answers. Conspiracy theories flooded the web, the two political sides bashed each other, America was in denial. We watched rescue workers have total disregard for their own safety to help the wounded, we watched firefighters and police officers climb, dig, transport the injured. We watched men and women become heros. It was amazing to watch New York City come together during this catastrophic event. I don't know how they did it, I would have been frozen, I would have not been able to move after seeing the destruction, hearing the noises, and thinking about the lives that were lost. 2,996 people died that day in September. 2,996 people who were either going to work, at work, New York City tourists, locals, paramedics, fire fighters, police officers, whoever. They were taken from the world on a day that they woke up and never fathomed that any of this would happen. It was a day that seems like more of a dream than a reality. I know it seems kind of redundant but I will never forget.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Be Thankful...
In a world glamourized by celebrities, sex, drugs and lots of other bullshit people tend to forget what life is really about. Life isn't about what kind car you drive, or your designer cloths, or how much money you have in your bank account. We see this everyday, we constantly wish we had something that isn't possible. I am one of those people. I want this and I want that and the truth is it isn't in the cards. My wife and I make way with exactly what we have. We will probably never have a 5,000 sq. foot house, but we have a 1406 sq. ft house that we call our own and are very happy with. I would like nothing more than my wife to be able to drive a Range Rover, but guess what...........it isn't going to happen. Most of the people who are reading this are middle class and should be happy as hell you aren't outside of a gas station begging for change.
Think about what you are bitching about and then be thankful you are drinking bottled water and not sewage water.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Think about what you are bitching about and then be thankful you are drinking bottled water and not sewage water.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
I'm Back
Guess who is back up in this piece. ME, Justin Matthew, so sit down, buckle up and take note because I have about 1 year of frustration to take out on my keyboard. You ask me where I have been? Let me tell you, I have had a really bad case of writers block for the past year. I have felt partially slow, nervous, and most days I feel like I am in a coma. The only way I can really explain it is when you go out on a Saturday night and drink WAY too much, then all day Sunday you are tired and don't feel like talking to anyone and in-between naps and sweats and Sunday golf on NBC you take another nap and sweat some more. You know what I am saying? Like, I go to my blog, I have an idea and then I have nothing. It has been an ongoing process. Just really SLOW. I continue to crush mad amounts of soda, my weight is still strong, and by strong I mean not strong, I still get more "likes" on my Facebook status' than any of you, my wife got some ink, my stepdaughters are more beautiful than ever and school is about to start up again. My family purchased a Great Dane named Reese Witherspoon who is gaining weight about as fast as me. I still get told my wife is hot daily, the best part is when people say it, they say it in a way that is telling me she is too good looking for me. It actually happened about 12 times at my 15 year High School reunion last Friday. You know what GO TO HELL. Lets be honest they are probably right, I have a huge head with great hair and a crooked nose. That being said I must I must be doing something right. #imsexierthanyou,
#2legit2everquit, #getonmylevel.
Enough with me hatin' on myself, I have 4 topics I need to briefly discuss with all you people. Just quick insight on some of my favorite people in the world. Agree, disagree, be mad, I don't care.
Ryan Braun- Don't care, I actually hope he is using his time off to inject more steroids. Everyone in all sports is crushing steroids. You know how I know, because I know. You know who else took steroids? Roger Maris. All you baseball purists just need to understand that PEDs are as part of the game and I am all for it. I want to see someone hit 100 HRs next year. The bottom line is the cheeseburger on the pretzel bun at Ryan Brauns restaurant is amazing and that is why I will always like him.
North West- Wow, what do I say about North West. The kid has NO CHANCE in life. When she asks her mom about how she got famous do you think Kim K's response will be "S'n D"? Hey, I aint hatin' on Kim, she is pretty and she has made millions for being pretty. But she was NOT a pretty pregnant woman. She looked like her ass ate her back. Her ass started on the bottom of her neck. As for Kanye, love the guys music, but as a person he can pass away. He and Nicki Minaj can be set on fire for all I care, just as long as he can still make music. Get him a beat machine and a T-Pain microphone from Kay-Bee toys and I am all good.
Amanda Bynes- God I love her and the cant get enough of her. Her wigs, her craziness. The fact that she was smoking dope in her apartment, the cops came and she tossed the bong out of a 36th floor window. Just the makings of a disaster. If I was going to guess a date she was going to be found in her lower eastside Manhattan apartment dead I would guess November 26th 2013. She is one injection away from foaming at the mouth, it isn't funny, but it is entertaining.
Justin Bieber- The dude is crushing life and tattoos and Instagram and Selena Gomez. Selena just cant walk away from the bad boy of pop music. I will admit, I don't understand the pants the dude wears, but I want some. They are leather and droopy in butt and it looks dumb, but if the Biebs is doing it than I want to do it. How long until this dude is on celebrity rehab? I say by the time he is 25 he will be similar to Corey Heim and Cory Feldman. Either dead of a drug overdose or doing drugs and no one will remember his name. Hey Biebs......NEVER SAY NEVER. Yes, I am a 33 year old male admirer.
This is all I have time for right now, I just wanted to get back in the flow, I want to be myself again, I wanted to make people smile, shake their heads and say "you know what, Czar is right". Of course I am right, I just sometimes say things other people think. I hope all is well with the people who read my nonsense and look for more blogs in the coming weeks.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
#2legit2everquit, #getonmylevel.
Enough with me hatin' on myself, I have 4 topics I need to briefly discuss with all you people. Just quick insight on some of my favorite people in the world. Agree, disagree, be mad, I don't care.
Ryan Braun- Don't care, I actually hope he is using his time off to inject more steroids. Everyone in all sports is crushing steroids. You know how I know, because I know. You know who else took steroids? Roger Maris. All you baseball purists just need to understand that PEDs are as part of the game and I am all for it. I want to see someone hit 100 HRs next year. The bottom line is the cheeseburger on the pretzel bun at Ryan Brauns restaurant is amazing and that is why I will always like him.
North West- Wow, what do I say about North West. The kid has NO CHANCE in life. When she asks her mom about how she got famous do you think Kim K's response will be "S'n D"? Hey, I aint hatin' on Kim, she is pretty and she has made millions for being pretty. But she was NOT a pretty pregnant woman. She looked like her ass ate her back. Her ass started on the bottom of her neck. As for Kanye, love the guys music, but as a person he can pass away. He and Nicki Minaj can be set on fire for all I care, just as long as he can still make music. Get him a beat machine and a T-Pain microphone from Kay-Bee toys and I am all good.
Amanda Bynes- God I love her and the cant get enough of her. Her wigs, her craziness. The fact that she was smoking dope in her apartment, the cops came and she tossed the bong out of a 36th floor window. Just the makings of a disaster. If I was going to guess a date she was going to be found in her lower eastside Manhattan apartment dead I would guess November 26th 2013. She is one injection away from foaming at the mouth, it isn't funny, but it is entertaining.
Justin Bieber- The dude is crushing life and tattoos and Instagram and Selena Gomez. Selena just cant walk away from the bad boy of pop music. I will admit, I don't understand the pants the dude wears, but I want some. They are leather and droopy in butt and it looks dumb, but if the Biebs is doing it than I want to do it. How long until this dude is on celebrity rehab? I say by the time he is 25 he will be similar to Corey Heim and Cory Feldman. Either dead of a drug overdose or doing drugs and no one will remember his name. Hey Biebs......NEVER SAY NEVER. Yes, I am a 33 year old male admirer.
This is all I have time for right now, I just wanted to get back in the flow, I want to be myself again, I wanted to make people smile, shake their heads and say "you know what, Czar is right". Of course I am right, I just sometimes say things other people think. I hope all is well with the people who read my nonsense and look for more blogs in the coming weeks.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Thursday, January 10, 2013
5 New Years Resolutions.....
I am telling you these New Years resolutions are some son-of-a-bitches. I set 5 attainable goals/resolutions for 2013 and 10 days 12 hours and 45 minutes into 2013 I have already broken two of them. For those of you who don't know what my resolutions were let me start by sharing them with you.
1) Be more organized.
2) Dress nice daily.
3) Be nicer to my wife.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st.
5) Spend more time with my step daughters.
1) Organization- that went out the shitter January 2nd when I couldn't find my GD keys at 730am to go to work. Right now my work desk is covered with post-it notes that are 3 days old, my bedroom looks like a Tsunami hit it, so I throw everything into the closet and close the door. Out of sight out of mind right? Until you are looking for something to wear, you know, the one time in your life you are looking for the specific piece of clothing that has been balled up and piled into the heaping clump of cloths in the back of your closet. Now after swearing 1,000 times and making an even bigger mess you finally found it..............and of course there there are more wrinkles in it than any dry cleaner could possibly handle at 6pm on a Saturday night. At that point you finally scream, throw a tantrum and tell your significant other "you can go out without me".
The point of that rant was simple, organization saves you more than you ever know, not only time, but also money and effort, heartache, pain and murderous rage.
2) Dressing nice daily- I told my wife that I want to at least where a nice pair of jeans and a collared shirt everyday to work. On the weekends I wanted to shower and if we were going out in public I wanted to do the same. I will tell you what, I love me a pair of sweats and a hoody and tonight I will post a picture of my bedtime sweats to show you what kind of slob I am, but people who look nice all the time have something going for them and I wanted to be one of those people.
On January 9th, 2013 I wore an Addidas hoody to work that has a small food stain on it. I failed, I f'n failed. That being said I was down in the dumps yesterday and today I came back hard with a North Face Fleece. I am a joke.
3) Be nicer to my wife- Most of you reading this know me, you know I like to ruffle feathers. You say something that pisses me off I will say something way worse with the intentions of making you cry. My wife ain't no joke, she doesn't hold anything back, you know the type of people who want to say something, but don't? Yeah, that isn't Jess. So I am learning on the fly how to just shut my big mouth and continue on with my day. Every relationship has drama, if you are on Facebook telling everyone how "perfect" everything is you probably actually hate your dude or girl and this is your way of telling yourself everything is just great. Every relationship needs a good fight every so often, as unhealthy as it sounds I actually think it is healthy. So in order to be nicer to my wife I am learning how just let her vent without saying anything back, then she usually questions if I am listening to her. I am listening Jess, I swear. When I don't talk I am actually being nicer. See goal #3 is no problem. EASY.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st- Look, I have been hefty my whole life, over the past 1.5 years I have dropped nearly 50 lbs to go from hefty to stocky. I have also realized that after years of making unattainable New Years resolutions about losing weight that making a goal that can actually be achieved is the best thing to do. Yes, we all have a desired weight that we wish we could be, but believe me as a dude who has struggled with his weight my entire life you are setting yourself up for failure and that is just a blow to your mind and heart. I will guarentee everyone reading this that I will lose 15 lbs by April 1st. No doubt in my mind, I am also going to enjoy my life while doing it. BABY STEPS!
5) Spend more time with my stepdaughters- Two of the most beautiful girls in the world that truely don't have to listen to a word I say, but basically do everything I ask. Well Lillian has trouble cleaning her room, but so do I. If that is the worst thing than I think I am truely blessed by this situation. Britt is a high schooler who I see for about 30 minutes per night because she is busy being a teenager and doesn't want to hang around Jess and I. She is an awesome student and one of the most well mannered 14 year olds I have ever met. Lillian as many of you know is a ball of energy, but she makes me laugh everyday with the things she says and does. She usually goes to clean her room after the 5th time asking, but then when we go look she is making some sort of arts and crafts. Whatever, she is 6. This is a resolution that Britt will be thrilled about when I tell her we are going to do something she doesn't want to do. Lillian on the other hand just wants to do anything at anytime. She has recently taken a liking to Dateline so we can watch that together. I look forward to attaining this resolution. It is part of being the best stepfather I can be. My main goal is that when both of these girls are adults they don't call me a BAD stepdad. Even though sometimes I am a real dickhead.
Those are my resolutions, so far I have broken 2 of them, has anyone ever stuck to a New Years resolution for a full year? If so FU.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
1) Be more organized.
2) Dress nice daily.
3) Be nicer to my wife.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st.
5) Spend more time with my step daughters.
1) Organization- that went out the shitter January 2nd when I couldn't find my GD keys at 730am to go to work. Right now my work desk is covered with post-it notes that are 3 days old, my bedroom looks like a Tsunami hit it, so I throw everything into the closet and close the door. Out of sight out of mind right? Until you are looking for something to wear, you know, the one time in your life you are looking for the specific piece of clothing that has been balled up and piled into the heaping clump of cloths in the back of your closet. Now after swearing 1,000 times and making an even bigger mess you finally found it..............and of course there there are more wrinkles in it than any dry cleaner could possibly handle at 6pm on a Saturday night. At that point you finally scream, throw a tantrum and tell your significant other "you can go out without me".
The point of that rant was simple, organization saves you more than you ever know, not only time, but also money and effort, heartache, pain and murderous rage.
2) Dressing nice daily- I told my wife that I want to at least where a nice pair of jeans and a collared shirt everyday to work. On the weekends I wanted to shower and if we were going out in public I wanted to do the same. I will tell you what, I love me a pair of sweats and a hoody and tonight I will post a picture of my bedtime sweats to show you what kind of slob I am, but people who look nice all the time have something going for them and I wanted to be one of those people.
On January 9th, 2013 I wore an Addidas hoody to work that has a small food stain on it. I failed, I f'n failed. That being said I was down in the dumps yesterday and today I came back hard with a North Face Fleece. I am a joke.
3) Be nicer to my wife- Most of you reading this know me, you know I like to ruffle feathers. You say something that pisses me off I will say something way worse with the intentions of making you cry. My wife ain't no joke, she doesn't hold anything back, you know the type of people who want to say something, but don't? Yeah, that isn't Jess. So I am learning on the fly how to just shut my big mouth and continue on with my day. Every relationship has drama, if you are on Facebook telling everyone how "perfect" everything is you probably actually hate your dude or girl and this is your way of telling yourself everything is just great. Every relationship needs a good fight every so often, as unhealthy as it sounds I actually think it is healthy. So in order to be nicer to my wife I am learning how just let her vent without saying anything back, then she usually questions if I am listening to her. I am listening Jess, I swear. When I don't talk I am actually being nicer. See goal #3 is no problem. EASY.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st- Look, I have been hefty my whole life, over the past 1.5 years I have dropped nearly 50 lbs to go from hefty to stocky. I have also realized that after years of making unattainable New Years resolutions about losing weight that making a goal that can actually be achieved is the best thing to do. Yes, we all have a desired weight that we wish we could be, but believe me as a dude who has struggled with his weight my entire life you are setting yourself up for failure and that is just a blow to your mind and heart. I will guarentee everyone reading this that I will lose 15 lbs by April 1st. No doubt in my mind, I am also going to enjoy my life while doing it. BABY STEPS!
5) Spend more time with my stepdaughters- Two of the most beautiful girls in the world that truely don't have to listen to a word I say, but basically do everything I ask. Well Lillian has trouble cleaning her room, but so do I. If that is the worst thing than I think I am truely blessed by this situation. Britt is a high schooler who I see for about 30 minutes per night because she is busy being a teenager and doesn't want to hang around Jess and I. She is an awesome student and one of the most well mannered 14 year olds I have ever met. Lillian as many of you know is a ball of energy, but she makes me laugh everyday with the things she says and does. She usually goes to clean her room after the 5th time asking, but then when we go look she is making some sort of arts and crafts. Whatever, she is 6. This is a resolution that Britt will be thrilled about when I tell her we are going to do something she doesn't want to do. Lillian on the other hand just wants to do anything at anytime. She has recently taken a liking to Dateline so we can watch that together. I look forward to attaining this resolution. It is part of being the best stepfather I can be. My main goal is that when both of these girls are adults they don't call me a BAD stepdad. Even though sometimes I am a real dickhead.
Those are my resolutions, so far I have broken 2 of them, has anyone ever stuck to a New Years resolution for a full year? If so FU.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thanksgiving Realness....
Sooooo Thanksgiving is tomorrow and everyone is in a good mood because most of us get the next two days off, we get to stuff our face, and we get to spend time with family and loved ones. I see people on Facebook writing status updates about what they are thankful for and GOD does that make me feel good, however lets be honest.....Holidays are stressful. You go over to your parents house, they ask like 2 million questions that they ask you everytime you see them. You got kids running around the house, you tell them to stop, but that only makes them run faster. As many drinks as you have you can't catch a buzz, the always awkward prayer, the even more awkward toast and so on. Don't get me wrong, the older I get the more I enjoy family time, but this is real shit, this is what actually happens. You can say you are thankful as much as you want, but the truth is you are constantly checking your phone or waiting for someone to leave first so you can follow their lead. So yes, there are pros and cons. I am lucky it is usually just my family, my sisters family and my mom and dad. When there are like 50 people I need to be heavily medicated, tons of xanex and lexapro. Just tons of non-stop action and loud talking. You all know exactly what I am talking about.
With that being said I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I bet most of you are at the bar by 8pm, so get back to me with how thankful you really are.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
With that being said I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I bet most of you are at the bar by 8pm, so get back to me with how thankful you really are.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Friday, November 16, 2012
Honest Job Interview...
Everyone has a different feeling when dealing with face to face job interviews. Some it doesn't bother at all, while most of us get an extreme case of butterflies and the shits. You feel prepared, you look good, and as soon as you get called into that office it is like a switch and everything changes. Your hands become cold, your tongue gets in the way of everything you are trying to say and 30 minutes later when you walk out of that office you feel like a turd. You get into your car, call some one, they ask "Soooooooo how did it go"? Your reply no matter how bad it went is "I think it went pretty good". Lies, all f'n lies. I don't care how bad ass you think you are it has happened to all of us.
This blog isn't entirely about that though, it is about the job interview process, however I have a twist. We are so use to going to interviews and saying exactly what the possible employer wants to hear. It is all bullshit, none of what we say we actually mean, some of the words we use we don't even know the actual meaning of. It is basically a kiss ass contest to get a job.
I am going to change it up, I am going to interview myself and tell you exactly how I WANT to respond to every question I am asked.
Here we go............
Question 1
Good morning Justin how are you?
Answer:
"Well actually I am hoping to get this interview over as soon as possible because my boss at my current job thinks I am just going to lunch. So the quicker we can get this moving the better."
Question 2
What exactly do you do at your current job?
Answer
"I usually get there about 10 minutes late everyday, but when I finally get to my cubicle, I turn my computer on, log on to Facebook to see the status updates I missed from the time I went to bed until the time I got to work. Then I set my fantasy basketball lineup, read Barstool Sports Blog, go to the bathroom, talk to some people in the office, go back to my desk and think about doing some work. I usually text a few friends and try to make plans for the weekend. Then I look at my work emails, then I email my wife to see how her day is going. By around 11am I usually do something work related, but that lasts about 2 minutes before I get completely off task and get a notification on Facebook that someone "liked" my status. Then I go to get lunch for 90 minutes, come back look at more websites, email, text and drink tons of soda. Before I know it, it is 5pm and the day is over. I do that 5 days per week".
Question 3
Why do you think you are the person for the job?
Answer
"I probably am not the right choice, I am a slacker, but if you give me the job I will try and cut down my internet usage and stay on task. I want to work for your company, but only because the salary is higher and I am sick of my current job. I will probably stay here for about 15 months and then begin my job search again. There is no job that can really keep my attention, I wanted to either be a rapper or an athlete, but that didn't work out so now I have to do all this bullshit that I actually hate."
Question 4
Would you consider yourself a team player in the work atmosphere?
Answer
"Not really, I do like company happy hours though, especially when the company is paying. I am more of a guy who does shit for myself, everytime I try to become a team player people tend to tell me I bring nothing to the table. Pisses me off and then I usually talk shit to them, then there is tons of office tension that I am usually the center of."
Question 5
What do you think you will bring to the company?
Answer
"Remember what I said when you asked me question 2? Probably about that same thing."
Question 6
Do you have any questions about the company Justin?
Answer
" Just a few actually
1) How much vacation do we get?
2) How many personal days do we get?
3) How many sick days do we get?"
The funny thing is this is what most of us should actually say at job interviews, unless you are actually a really good employee. Think about all the lies you tell during the interview process......COUNTLESS. You use words like "productive" and "efficient" and it is all BS. Good thing I don't actually fall into this category, I get to work and I do work all damn day.
Everyone have a blessed day.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
This blog isn't entirely about that though, it is about the job interview process, however I have a twist. We are so use to going to interviews and saying exactly what the possible employer wants to hear. It is all bullshit, none of what we say we actually mean, some of the words we use we don't even know the actual meaning of. It is basically a kiss ass contest to get a job.
I am going to change it up, I am going to interview myself and tell you exactly how I WANT to respond to every question I am asked.
Here we go............
Question 1
Good morning Justin how are you?
Answer:
"Well actually I am hoping to get this interview over as soon as possible because my boss at my current job thinks I am just going to lunch. So the quicker we can get this moving the better."
Question 2
What exactly do you do at your current job?
Answer
"I usually get there about 10 minutes late everyday, but when I finally get to my cubicle, I turn my computer on, log on to Facebook to see the status updates I missed from the time I went to bed until the time I got to work. Then I set my fantasy basketball lineup, read Barstool Sports Blog, go to the bathroom, talk to some people in the office, go back to my desk and think about doing some work. I usually text a few friends and try to make plans for the weekend. Then I look at my work emails, then I email my wife to see how her day is going. By around 11am I usually do something work related, but that lasts about 2 minutes before I get completely off task and get a notification on Facebook that someone "liked" my status. Then I go to get lunch for 90 minutes, come back look at more websites, email, text and drink tons of soda. Before I know it, it is 5pm and the day is over. I do that 5 days per week".
Question 3
Why do you think you are the person for the job?
Answer
"I probably am not the right choice, I am a slacker, but if you give me the job I will try and cut down my internet usage and stay on task. I want to work for your company, but only because the salary is higher and I am sick of my current job. I will probably stay here for about 15 months and then begin my job search again. There is no job that can really keep my attention, I wanted to either be a rapper or an athlete, but that didn't work out so now I have to do all this bullshit that I actually hate."
Question 4
Would you consider yourself a team player in the work atmosphere?
Answer
"Not really, I do like company happy hours though, especially when the company is paying. I am more of a guy who does shit for myself, everytime I try to become a team player people tend to tell me I bring nothing to the table. Pisses me off and then I usually talk shit to them, then there is tons of office tension that I am usually the center of."
Question 5
What do you think you will bring to the company?
Answer
"Remember what I said when you asked me question 2? Probably about that same thing."
Question 6
Do you have any questions about the company Justin?
Answer
" Just a few actually
1) How much vacation do we get?
2) How many personal days do we get?
3) How many sick days do we get?"
The funny thing is this is what most of us should actually say at job interviews, unless you are actually a really good employee. Think about all the lies you tell during the interview process......COUNTLESS. You use words like "productive" and "efficient" and it is all BS. Good thing I don't actually fall into this category, I get to work and I do work all damn day.
Everyone have a blessed day.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Election Results
After months and months of political ads all over your television the election is finally over. Many are upset this morning at the outcome, Facebook status' tell the real story. Since turning 18 I have voted Republican in every election there has been. The problem was I never truely knew what I was voting for. I followed the teachings of my parents and never had my own say. 14 years and 3 elections later I understand a little more, but everyday I learn something new, something that makes you think maybe it won't be that bad. A few years ago I got into an argument with one of my best friends over politics, I truely had no idea what I was arguing and the next day I called him to apologize. Since that day I try to stay out of every political discussion that goes on around me, instead I try and listen and learn from people. I try and understand how the person talking would be affected or if I would be affected. So many people get mad because someone else may have a differing view. That is what the world is about. Everyone is different, everyone has their own say and everyone should have voted for the person that best represents them or their family. If you feel defeated today don't take it out on an Obama supporter, don't question how or why they voted for him, instead put a smile on your face and feel lucky you woke up this morning. We have to put our faith in Barack for the next four years so come to grips with it, be excited about something in your life. Take this opportunity to make your life better. So many people are negative, I don't want that energy around me. This morning I woke up next to my beautiful wife, I woke up my beautiful stepdaughter to get ready for school, I showered and headed to work. It was the perfect morning.
Just be happy, I AM.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Just be happy, I AM.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tips to People Who Spend Their Lives in a Cubicle.
Few things really get me excited anymore, but there are some things.....When Lillian scores a goal in her soccer game, when Brittany asks me if I heard a new rap song, when Jess tells me she is excited to go out for a drink, Christmas day NBA games on TV so I don't have to socialize with family members who are going to ask me the same questions....just to name a few. Nothing makes me feel better than when you catch your co-worker in their cube sneaking a peak on a website that isn't their actual work. I have Facebook on one of my 6 tabs all day long and I talk to the same people on it for hours per day. My morning conversation is with Jay Lorino about the workout at the gym, Steve Kohl is going to tell me about how he hates winter and wonders why he still lives in Wisconsin, Jared Dwyer and I just talk about random things that help us get through the day. Whatever it is if you work in a cube 9-10 hours per day 5 days per week you are going to have time to waste. No one in the cube world works all 40 hours per week. The thing is if you think no one saw you on a that website you are mistaking. You cannot click off fast enough when people are walking by, someone always sees you. I am professional, let me give you 3 tips on becoming a professional web surfer in your cube.
1) Learn the noises of your office, the creaks of peoples chairs, the tone of their voice, the sound of their cough, You can always be one step ahead of that co-worker who is going to bring up the fact that he/she saw you on the internet at a company happy hour. People will do anything to try and make themselves look superior. When that is brought up in front of your co-workers...OWN IT. Don't ever say "No I wasn't". Everyone who works in a cube is on the internet all day long.
2) Always have an excuse ready for the boss. If you are on the internet and get caught by your boss be prepared to give a quick excuse. Example- if I am diving deep into research for my fantasy basketball team on ESPN.com and the boss walks by and says "Justin why are you on ESPN.com during the work day"? I would be prepared to say "just checking to see what time World Series Game 1 is on tonight". Then I would follow that up with a question like "who are you rooting for". I need to quickly get his mind off the fact that I wasn't doing actual work.
3) Try to become friends with all your other cubemates. OWN THEM. Tell them why you don't care if you get caught on the internet. Make them understand the process, make them realize that in order to drag yourself into this cube everyday you need a little "you time". By doing this they will get the same feeling and after 2 months of being in the same cube you don't even have to think about clicking off. They just understand. Soon they will be asking you if you saw this or that on some website. That is when you have them right where you want them.
Anyone who works in a cube/office setting knows about clicking off when they feel the presence of another co-worker or boss. The thing our bosses don't realize is that we do 10 honest hours of work per week leaving us with 30 hours to not be bored out of our minds. They think we are all busy as shit all day, everyday. What the hell are you suppose to do? OVER ACHIEVE? Pssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh......remember you are not a heart surgeon and you aren't going to change the world. Just imagine doing this for the next 25 years of your life.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
1) Learn the noises of your office, the creaks of peoples chairs, the tone of their voice, the sound of their cough, You can always be one step ahead of that co-worker who is going to bring up the fact that he/she saw you on the internet at a company happy hour. People will do anything to try and make themselves look superior. When that is brought up in front of your co-workers...OWN IT. Don't ever say "No I wasn't". Everyone who works in a cube is on the internet all day long.
2) Always have an excuse ready for the boss. If you are on the internet and get caught by your boss be prepared to give a quick excuse. Example- if I am diving deep into research for my fantasy basketball team on ESPN.com and the boss walks by and says "Justin why are you on ESPN.com during the work day"? I would be prepared to say "just checking to see what time World Series Game 1 is on tonight". Then I would follow that up with a question like "who are you rooting for". I need to quickly get his mind off the fact that I wasn't doing actual work.
3) Try to become friends with all your other cubemates. OWN THEM. Tell them why you don't care if you get caught on the internet. Make them understand the process, make them realize that in order to drag yourself into this cube everyday you need a little "you time". By doing this they will get the same feeling and after 2 months of being in the same cube you don't even have to think about clicking off. They just understand. Soon they will be asking you if you saw this or that on some website. That is when you have them right where you want them.
Anyone who works in a cube/office setting knows about clicking off when they feel the presence of another co-worker or boss. The thing our bosses don't realize is that we do 10 honest hours of work per week leaving us with 30 hours to not be bored out of our minds. They think we are all busy as shit all day, everyday. What the hell are you suppose to do? OVER ACHIEVE? Pssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh......remember you are not a heart surgeon and you aren't going to change the world. Just imagine doing this for the next 25 years of your life.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
21 days into MY 56 day CHALLENGE...
3 weeks ago I decided to challenge myself for the first time in years. I believe the last challenege I faced before this was when I visited Brian Johnson at Ripon College, we went to Subway and he told me there was NO WAY I could eat 3 feet of sub. I took the challenge and made him look silly. I devoured all 3 feet and then I felt sick for the rest of the night. I believe I had 1/2 of a beer and was sleeping before 10pm CST. Since then I have just been lackidasical, someone who just goes with the flow and walks away or cheats on most things I am challeneged by. I go hard for about a week and then I give up, mainly because I don't have anything to prove and my name won't show up in the local newspaper. I decided to take on a 56 day nationwide health challenge called the Lurong Challenge(http://www.lurongliving.com/challenge/.) This shit ain't no joke. No dairy, No carbs, No soda, No booze, No grains, No sugars.........basically I am eating meat, chicken, pork, eggs, veggies and drinking water. This is a serious challenge for me, I am a big dude, I didn't get this way by always eating and drinking healthy. I will be the first to admit I have cheated or slipped up in my first 21 days, BUT I get right back at it the very next day. I haven't had a soda, or any noodles or anything besides a granola bar and few beers at a wedding. I want to suceed in this challenge, not only to make myself healthier, but also to give myself a mindf&*^. Sometimes we need to be mentally challenged to see what you are actually capable of. I will tell you a life change/diet is a lot more mental than anything. I am currently down around 15 lbs and feeling pretty damn good. 35 more days to make a lot more happen. After the challenge is over I KNOW I will be incorporating this way of eating into my daily life. That being said I will also go back to having a beer or 17 or some chicken wings here and there. I can see how eating healthy makes you feel, not only physically, but mentally and personally I like it. Stay tuned, in 35 more days I will be giving you the end results. Hopefully everything will be positive and I won't have fallen off the healthy wagon.
I don't usually blog about serious things, but the name of my blog is "I Motivate You" and I want to motivate some of the people who read the bullshit I usually write. If you have been wanting to do something, challenege yourself and make it happen. If I can do it anybody can do it. Believe me.
Good luck.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
I don't usually blog about serious things, but the name of my blog is "I Motivate You" and I want to motivate some of the people who read the bullshit I usually write. If you have been wanting to do something, challenege yourself and make it happen. If I can do it anybody can do it. Believe me.
Good luck.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Engaged, 1 Year Ago.
One year ago today I got engaged. I didn't pop the question in super romantic, get on one knee, everyone starts crying type of way. I sat on one couch, Jess went upstairs to tuck Lillian into bed, and I had a diamond ring in my pocket. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do, but I knew I had to act fast. I came up with the brilliant idea to send her a text message asking her to marry me. Her phone was sitting on the coffee table, I knew when she came back downstairs, it would be the first thing she would look at. So I sent the text, she came downstairs, looked at her phone, I was holding the ring and she almost shit in her pants. I think her reply was something along the lines of "shut the f*&% up". Jess has such a delicate mouth. Happiness ensued, Jess looked at the ring on her finger about 6,341 times before it actually felt real. Then she said "can we put this on Facebook"? Well yeah, we need to get this out there to see how many "likes" and "comments" we can get. Forget calling our parents or loved ones, lets get this thing on Facebook. That being said it was a pretty awesome night that I will never forget, but the best part of it was when Jess' daughter Brittany walked down the stairs and Jess said "hey Britt, guess what"? Then she showed her the ring.... Britts exact words were "STFU". Keep in mind this is a 4.0, 8th grade student who neither Jess nor I has ever heard swear. It was a good reaction. I believe she began to cry and then it was all real. I was going to have an immediate family and it was awesome.
In the last year Jess and I bought a house in December, got married in May, and continue to fight about what we are going to watch on tv nightly. That being said this has been the best year of my life and I wouldn't trade it for a thing. In every relationship there are ups and downs, but if the love is real good things can and will happen.
I LOVE YOU JESS, LILLIAN, AND BRITTANY!
PS-
Lillian- I need at least 2 goals out of you at Saturdays soccer game.
Britt- Even though you spend most of your time in your room because you are embarressed to be seen with your mother and I, I think you and I get along so well because of our love for rap music. Don't worry I won't tell your mother or father about the songs we listen to on your iPod when we drive to Sheboygan to meet your dad. Totally between us.
Jess- Hang in there with me and we will have a wonderful HAPPILY EVER AFTER! Tonight I plan on coming home, lighting a candle and making you a nice Banquet meal in the microwave. That's real love girl.
Love,
Justin
In the last year Jess and I bought a house in December, got married in May, and continue to fight about what we are going to watch on tv nightly. That being said this has been the best year of my life and I wouldn't trade it for a thing. In every relationship there are ups and downs, but if the love is real good things can and will happen.
I LOVE YOU JESS, LILLIAN, AND BRITTANY!
PS-
Lillian- I need at least 2 goals out of you at Saturdays soccer game.
Britt- Even though you spend most of your time in your room because you are embarressed to be seen with your mother and I, I think you and I get along so well because of our love for rap music. Don't worry I won't tell your mother or father about the songs we listen to on your iPod when we drive to Sheboygan to meet your dad. Totally between us.
Jess- Hang in there with me and we will have a wonderful HAPPILY EVER AFTER! Tonight I plan on coming home, lighting a candle and making you a nice Banquet meal in the microwave. That's real love girl.
Love,
Justin
Monday, September 24, 2012
The Check-In/Facebook Status Telling the World You Are Working Out.
Today I want to talk about the people who love to tell you that they are either working out or about to workout or tell you how many miles they ran or post their running route via social media. Before you all get super pissed off and say "Czar maybe you should follow our lead and workout because you are fat"........STFU. I am big and sexy and I do workout, but I workout just so I could go eat and drink whatever I want. I wasn't in the gym grunting and screaming until another ab would appear. Believe me there are thousands of reasons for working out and whatever your reason is I don't care, you just do your damn thang. Whether you want to lose weight, get toned, do tons of steroids, talk to people at work about what your bench is I don't care. I am all for people becoming more healthy. Last week I started a 56 day challenge at my gym in which I cannot drink soda, drink alcohol, eat dairy, eat grains etc.....so I do have the right to blog about this. Today actually marked the first week involved in the challenge and let me tell you I WANT a soda bad, I need a BEER worse, but I am not going to because I want to get more healthy. I have told the people who care about me and the people involved in the challenge at the gym how my first week went, but I will not report in on social media because that is against what I stand for. If you are trying to make a change be humble about it and don't look for people to tell you how awesome you are. Do shit for you.
Just know that when you check in from the gym this is how I and all the rest of your friends want to respond.
"Oh you are at the gym again huh, guess what, I and your other 608 friends don't give a shit". Are you looking for me to say "good job, you are so pretty and in shape, I wish I could find the time and motivation to be just like you, I saw you the other day and WOW do you look great, bangin bod, I want to be just like you." FU! FU! FU! I hope you sprain your god damn ankle.
Guess what it ain't coming from me. I am actually at home waiting for your next status update to be "I was at the gym today and I broke my leg". Now that is entertaining and what should be on your status. At least you will give all your friends a good chuckle you asshole.
If you are writing a status update about how how far you ran or showing us your "running route" here is how I and all your other friends would like to respond.
"Oh cool, out for a run again, I hope you you have a backpack full of weights and run directly into Lake Michigan and drown."
Believe me, everyone is thinking it and now I am saying it. No one gives a shit about how far you ran. Whatever happened to setting a goal for yourself and not having to get the comfort of your friends?
There are the type of men and women who are absolute gym beasts and their lives are dedicated to being healthy, if you fit this description than this blog does not pertain to you. It pertains to the people who go to the gym one time per week and want the world to know they are back on track and about to make a big change until they don't enter the gym doors again for another week. Again if you check in or Facebook status about the gym, I am sorry, but your friends truely are bothered by you and talk about you behind your back. No lie.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Just know that when you check in from the gym this is how I and all the rest of your friends want to respond.
"Oh you are at the gym again huh, guess what, I and your other 608 friends don't give a shit". Are you looking for me to say "good job, you are so pretty and in shape, I wish I could find the time and motivation to be just like you, I saw you the other day and WOW do you look great, bangin bod, I want to be just like you." FU! FU! FU! I hope you sprain your god damn ankle.
Guess what it ain't coming from me. I am actually at home waiting for your next status update to be "I was at the gym today and I broke my leg". Now that is entertaining and what should be on your status. At least you will give all your friends a good chuckle you asshole.
If you are writing a status update about how how far you ran or showing us your "running route" here is how I and all your other friends would like to respond.
"Oh cool, out for a run again, I hope you you have a backpack full of weights and run directly into Lake Michigan and drown."
Believe me, everyone is thinking it and now I am saying it. No one gives a shit about how far you ran. Whatever happened to setting a goal for yourself and not having to get the comfort of your friends?
There are the type of men and women who are absolute gym beasts and their lives are dedicated to being healthy, if you fit this description than this blog does not pertain to you. It pertains to the people who go to the gym one time per week and want the world to know they are back on track and about to make a big change until they don't enter the gym doors again for another week. Again if you check in or Facebook status about the gym, I am sorry, but your friends truely are bothered by you and talk about you behind your back. No lie.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
At My Funeral...
You know what.....there are some real shitheads in the world. The type of people who you despise to be around. The type of people who give you anxiety because you never know what they are going to do, what they are going to say and who they are going to offend. I HATE those people, I hope I am not one of those people to anybody. I know in high school some people thought I was an asshole, this was never my intention. I wanted to be cool with every group of people from goth to jocks to valley girls to nerdy guys to nerdy girls to hispanics to blacks to whoever was roaming the halls. Unfortunately I did not come off this way to a few people and for that I would like to apologize. I told my stepdaughter a few months ago that if a dude is mean to you it probably means he likes you. Maybe that was my problem, maybe I just had a crush on the people I was mean to. Right now I don't know.....I am happily married to a gangster ass chick who lets me be me. This brings me to my point, I think a lot of people do not realize the impact they have on other people. How do you want to be remembered when you are worm food? What do you want people to say about you? I have decided to tell you how I hope I am remembered after I die.
When you all stand up at my funeral and talk about me I hope it goes something like this
Justin Matthew Czarnecki was a good dude, sometimes he thought he was black and had often been called a "wigger". Through his college years he was the only white person I knew who was draped in P. Diddys clothing line Sean John. He is a lover of hip hop and R&B and boy bands. Justin loved his family and although his wife Jessica sometimes wanted to murder him, she understood him and let him be an asshole because that is who he was. His stepdaughters could count on him if they needed anything whether it was a TI-84 calculater or support at a sporting event they knew he would be on the sideline talking about his glory days and how he once struck out 20 out of 21 batters when he was 15 against the Cardinals during the first game of the senior season. Justin wouldn't want his funeral to be a time of tears and emotions. Instead he would rather there be a 2 drink minimum and 2Pac on the speakers bumpin "Bury Me a G". Justin would want you to tell stories about how he made you laugh, how he made you feel better about yourself or the time he bought you 5 drinks and you never bought him one back. He wasn't a handyman, he couldn't hook up a VCR, he wasn't sure how to use a wrench. but he was a cool ass dude and someone I know would help me if I had a problem. He enjoyed his relationships he had with his best friends and their families, but he is probably happy he never has to go to another kids birthday party. The thing that bothered Justin the most was facebook status' that included talking shit about your ex-partner, political nonsense, pictures of your food and people who were begging for help and or attention. He secretly hoped all those people would find the dirt before he did. Justin was a firm believer that the day he died nothing would happen other than everything fading to black and his corpse becoming a buffet for all insects and creatures who were hungry. Above all he wanted to make sure his family and friends were happy with the life they chose. The last thing he hoped is that his funeral would be an all day party that included bottle service, grinding, rap music and everyone being happy. Cheers to Justin, Czar, Bobby, Bows, Frozen Toes, Biscuits, Juice and anything else you called him.
Please make my funeral a party and remember to pour a little out.
I don't want people at my funeral talking about how much I was disliked. I encourage everyone to make a firm impact on everyone you come across. Say something people will remember forever, don't waste your life being the person who thinks they know everything. Make people smile it will be part of your legacy.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
When you all stand up at my funeral and talk about me I hope it goes something like this
Justin Matthew Czarnecki was a good dude, sometimes he thought he was black and had often been called a "wigger". Through his college years he was the only white person I knew who was draped in P. Diddys clothing line Sean John. He is a lover of hip hop and R&B and boy bands. Justin loved his family and although his wife Jessica sometimes wanted to murder him, she understood him and let him be an asshole because that is who he was. His stepdaughters could count on him if they needed anything whether it was a TI-84 calculater or support at a sporting event they knew he would be on the sideline talking about his glory days and how he once struck out 20 out of 21 batters when he was 15 against the Cardinals during the first game of the senior season. Justin wouldn't want his funeral to be a time of tears and emotions. Instead he would rather there be a 2 drink minimum and 2Pac on the speakers bumpin "Bury Me a G". Justin would want you to tell stories about how he made you laugh, how he made you feel better about yourself or the time he bought you 5 drinks and you never bought him one back. He wasn't a handyman, he couldn't hook up a VCR, he wasn't sure how to use a wrench. but he was a cool ass dude and someone I know would help me if I had a problem. He enjoyed his relationships he had with his best friends and their families, but he is probably happy he never has to go to another kids birthday party. The thing that bothered Justin the most was facebook status' that included talking shit about your ex-partner, political nonsense, pictures of your food and people who were begging for help and or attention. He secretly hoped all those people would find the dirt before he did. Justin was a firm believer that the day he died nothing would happen other than everything fading to black and his corpse becoming a buffet for all insects and creatures who were hungry. Above all he wanted to make sure his family and friends were happy with the life they chose. The last thing he hoped is that his funeral would be an all day party that included bottle service, grinding, rap music and everyone being happy. Cheers to Justin, Czar, Bobby, Bows, Frozen Toes, Biscuits, Juice and anything else you called him.
Please make my funeral a party and remember to pour a little out.
I don't want people at my funeral talking about how much I was disliked. I encourage everyone to make a firm impact on everyone you come across. Say something people will remember forever, don't waste your life being the person who thinks they know everything. Make people smile it will be part of your legacy.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Monday, August 27, 2012
3 People at Every Wedding Reception
This weekend my lovely wife and I had the privelage to attend one of my best friends wedding receptions. It was a glorious two day event that included a beautiful couple, beautiful family and friends, drinking, eating, laughter and Toppers. Being at a wedding and the help from a friend gave me the idea for this blog. When attending a wedding you never know what you are going to get, whether it is corny dance music, a boring crowd, lousy wedding food blah blah blah. The bottom line is the night takes a ton of planning and organization and no matter what someone is going to bitch about something. With that being said when going to a wedding you always have a few individuals who make the wedding 100 times better. Today I am going to to give you my list of 3 people that absolutely no wedding can live without.
1) The dancing whore/slut- this person tends to be a girl who doesn't have a date, but is bound and determined to make people remember her. This girl is usually drinking vodka before the wedding, during appetizers, dinner, dessert, the father/daughter dance and so on. She is also usually the first girl to drop a glass and then tell everyone "I'm soooooooo sorry, that is only my first drink". Once the music switches from the chicken dance to hip hop this girl is usually the one screaming "ohhhhhhhh this my jam", while putting one hand in the air and the other hand is being occupied by a glass of vodka. At some point this chick just decides it is go time, she begins grinding on every dude on the dance floor causing widespread panic amongst people/family watching. Her dress is all over the place, her ass is hanging out and someone has to tell her to knock it off and go have some water. When she wakes up in the morning she looks like a confused mess, feels like a mess, is wondering where her dress and jewelry is and the first words out of her mouth are "I don't remember a thing".
2) Drunk Groomsman- this guy is determined to lead the charge. He wants to make sure everyone is having the time of their lives. He is the guy who demands to drink before entering the church and usually has 2 beers in his hands at all times during the pictures. He refuses to follow any directions including those coming from the priest or the photographer. This guy wants to make sure that he goes hard. At some point during the reception he will have his dress shirt and tie off, but he will be wearing just his vest. His favorite dance move is the fist pump and he is usually groping any girl he can. The best part of this guy is he doesn't want to give up after the reception, he is the one screaming "what bar are we going to". When this guy wakes up in the morning he doesn't ever know where he is, how he got there, but the only thing he needs is a drink. He has one beer to be a tough guy and then he sleeps for the rest of the day.
3) The complainer- this is usually an older lady who just likes to complain because her life is actually miserable. So she gets dressed up in the same clothes that she wears to every wedding, doesn't drink alcohol, sits at a table by herself looking every single person up and down. Her favorite question to ask passer-byers is "how was your dinner, mine was cold and just not good". She comments to every person about certain peoples clothes, they type of music being played and how she can't believe how much kids drink these days. Her husband stays away from her because he actually can't stand her and wants to enjoy himself. At 9:30pm she is ready to go and her husband just says "FINE" because he has done whatever she says for the last 31 years. No need to stop now. Now you may not ever notice her in the crowd, but just remember she is at every wedding.
Other people you always see at a wedding include:
- Old guy with killer dance moves
- The underdressed family
- The dancing 2 year old
- The cryer
Look at the three people I have listed above and tell me you don't know exactly what I am talking about. These people are a staple at a weddings. Think about the last few weddings you have been to and you can pick these people out right away.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
1) The dancing whore/slut- this person tends to be a girl who doesn't have a date, but is bound and determined to make people remember her. This girl is usually drinking vodka before the wedding, during appetizers, dinner, dessert, the father/daughter dance and so on. She is also usually the first girl to drop a glass and then tell everyone "I'm soooooooo sorry, that is only my first drink". Once the music switches from the chicken dance to hip hop this girl is usually the one screaming "ohhhhhhhh this my jam", while putting one hand in the air and the other hand is being occupied by a glass of vodka. At some point this chick just decides it is go time, she begins grinding on every dude on the dance floor causing widespread panic amongst people/family watching. Her dress is all over the place, her ass is hanging out and someone has to tell her to knock it off and go have some water. When she wakes up in the morning she looks like a confused mess, feels like a mess, is wondering where her dress and jewelry is and the first words out of her mouth are "I don't remember a thing".
2) Drunk Groomsman- this guy is determined to lead the charge. He wants to make sure everyone is having the time of their lives. He is the guy who demands to drink before entering the church and usually has 2 beers in his hands at all times during the pictures. He refuses to follow any directions including those coming from the priest or the photographer. This guy wants to make sure that he goes hard. At some point during the reception he will have his dress shirt and tie off, but he will be wearing just his vest. His favorite dance move is the fist pump and he is usually groping any girl he can. The best part of this guy is he doesn't want to give up after the reception, he is the one screaming "what bar are we going to". When this guy wakes up in the morning he doesn't ever know where he is, how he got there, but the only thing he needs is a drink. He has one beer to be a tough guy and then he sleeps for the rest of the day.
3) The complainer- this is usually an older lady who just likes to complain because her life is actually miserable. So she gets dressed up in the same clothes that she wears to every wedding, doesn't drink alcohol, sits at a table by herself looking every single person up and down. Her favorite question to ask passer-byers is "how was your dinner, mine was cold and just not good". She comments to every person about certain peoples clothes, they type of music being played and how she can't believe how much kids drink these days. Her husband stays away from her because he actually can't stand her and wants to enjoy himself. At 9:30pm she is ready to go and her husband just says "FINE" because he has done whatever she says for the last 31 years. No need to stop now. Now you may not ever notice her in the crowd, but just remember she is at every wedding.
Other people you always see at a wedding include:
- Old guy with killer dance moves
- The underdressed family
- The dancing 2 year old
- The cryer
Look at the three people I have listed above and tell me you don't know exactly what I am talking about. These people are a staple at a weddings. Think about the last few weddings you have been to and you can pick these people out right away.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Friday, August 24, 2012
Hottest Dudes Out There.
My wife calls me gay about 6 times per day, not to be rude, not to use a slur, but because she actually thinks I am gay. My wife and I recently watched The Vow and the scene where Channing took his shirt off my response was "YEEEESSSSSSS". I am not afraid to admit when a man is good looking, has a bangin' bod, good skin, great hair, or a wonderful closet of clothes. Some guys just have the total package and it just isnt fair. With that being said we are a world that judges everything and everybody and the best part of it people have their own opinions. I want to share with you my opinon on the 3 hottest dudes in the world. Agree, disagree, argue with me, I don't care, I am entitled to my opinion. This is in no particular order, in fact the top 3 can rotate at anytime depending on when I see them on tv, in a magazine or on the red carpet.
HERE WE GO....................
Justin Timberlake- the guy flat out gets it done, dresses awesome, can sing his heart out, humerous, knowledgable about sports, although I don't know for sure he just looks like he would always smell good. I will be honest, I think his acting is like watching an abortion, but the good part is viewers still get to look at him. Another thing about him is he knows Joey Fattone, when Fattone is running in your cirlce you know life is good.
David Beckham- hair, tattoos, 39 pack, structured jaw line hand chisled by God himself. The funny thing about Beckham is I don't think I have ever heard him talk. Is he mute? I am sure Posh and his 4 dickhead children who only wear name brand clothing run his life, but after soccer games he is out SLAYING D and wrecking random womens lives.
Matthew Mcconaughey- Maybe getting a little older but his accent and body hasn't changed. JEEESH. I don't care if he doesn't wear deoderant and only runs on the beach with his shirt off. I would also if I looked like him. You can't tell me he is faithful to his Brazillian supermodel wife. I don't buy it. You know what, his wife probably knows he cheats and doesn't care, that is how hot he is.
Like I said we all have opinions, but right now this is my top 3. You can go any way with it you want. You may laugh at my pick of Matthew Mcconaughey, but then I will laugh at you right back. I can't wait to hear all of your opinions. If you are a dude reading this and you think it is weird that I am judging what a dude looks like it just means you are not ok with your sexuality. That's all.
Everyone have a great weekend.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
HERE WE GO....................
Justin Timberlake- the guy flat out gets it done, dresses awesome, can sing his heart out, humerous, knowledgable about sports, although I don't know for sure he just looks like he would always smell good. I will be honest, I think his acting is like watching an abortion, but the good part is viewers still get to look at him. Another thing about him is he knows Joey Fattone, when Fattone is running in your cirlce you know life is good.
David Beckham- hair, tattoos, 39 pack, structured jaw line hand chisled by God himself. The funny thing about Beckham is I don't think I have ever heard him talk. Is he mute? I am sure Posh and his 4 dickhead children who only wear name brand clothing run his life, but after soccer games he is out SLAYING D and wrecking random womens lives.
Matthew Mcconaughey- Maybe getting a little older but his accent and body hasn't changed. JEEESH. I don't care if he doesn't wear deoderant and only runs on the beach with his shirt off. I would also if I looked like him. You can't tell me he is faithful to his Brazillian supermodel wife. I don't buy it. You know what, his wife probably knows he cheats and doesn't care, that is how hot he is.
Like I said we all have opinions, but right now this is my top 3. You can go any way with it you want. You may laugh at my pick of Matthew Mcconaughey, but then I will laugh at you right back. I can't wait to hear all of your opinions. If you are a dude reading this and you think it is weird that I am judging what a dude looks like it just means you are not ok with your sexuality. That's all.
Everyone have a great weekend.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Parenting Questions on Facebook
I know it seems like I bitch a lot about other people on my blog, you are right, I do and you continue to come back and read because I say things you are thinking. Over the past few blog entries I have been bitching about things I see on Facebook or Facebook status'. Recently I have seen an abundance of mothers asking for for "suggestions" on how they should do something with their child. It looks something like this "recently my baby won't stay attached to my nipple while feeding, any suggestions on what I should do"?
My suggestion is simple....never ask anyone on Facebook how to parent your child. Every kid is different and your ass needs to figure out something that works. I don't want to waste my time telling you to put your nipple at a 45 degree angle so little Jacob can get the proper flow. That ain't my duty. Read a book, call your mom, don't ask Facebook how to parent your kid, it makes you look bad.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
My suggestion is simple....never ask anyone on Facebook how to parent your child. Every kid is different and your ass needs to figure out something that works. I don't want to waste my time telling you to put your nipple at a 45 degree angle so little Jacob can get the proper flow. That ain't my duty. Read a book, call your mom, don't ask Facebook how to parent your kid, it makes you look bad.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Pictures of Yourself you Took Yourself
Some things really bug me, get under my skin and drive me crazy. Those things include when people don't let me finish my sentence, when people don't know how the Subway line works and last but not least when middle-aged people take pictures of themselves in the mirror or in their car and post them to a social media site. What do you want from doing this? We all know you are doing it because you think you look hot, is there any other reason to do it? The best part is I am sure the person posting is refreshing their Facebook page every 6 seconds to see who commented and to get a quick self esteem boost. Look, I get it if you are in middle school or high school and looking for attention, but if you are 25 or older this should be a no no.
The fact is as soon as I see a picture posted like this I am texting someone to say "did you see so and so's picture he/she just posted....wtf are they doing". If you think I am the only person doing this you are sadly mistaken. Everyone is talking about you, maybe that is what you want, but it is a BAD look. You look like an idiot who is craving the attention you are not getting at home. Instead of giving me the duck face why don't you ask your mom or dad if they want to hangout. Parents will give you the attention you desire.
Dudes- I will admit I don't go shirtless EVER because, WELL, because it simply isn't a good look and I don't want people to get sick. The good thing is I realize this. I just really have a problem with dudes who take photos of their abs, or flexing in the mirror and posting it to a social media site. Go ahead, call me jealous, you may be right, but while you call me jealous I am going to call you a DOUCHEBAG and so is everyone else except people who wear Ed Hardy still. What do you want from this, people to comment "hot abs dude". My guess is you post pictures because you feel the pressure around girls when you are out. You probably stand in the back of the bar with your Affliction shirt on and embroidered, sparkly jeans looking like a douche. Put on a fuckin hoody and a hat and post the picture of you and some friends drinking some beers and enjoying life.
Girls- Duck face....NO......Bikini shots in the mirror taken by yourself.....NO. I don't f'n care if you are a God damn super model you look like a whore. "HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, LOOK I AM WEARING A BIKINI AND POSING SEXY IN THE MIRROR BECAUSE I AM AN ATENTION SEEKING SLUT". Everything I just said can be thrown out the window if someone else takes the picture, if I see you holding a phone and taking the picture everything I said above still stands. Say whatever you want, plead your case, tell me why you took a picture of yourself and posted it on Facebook. I WILL CALL YOU A LIAR.
I understand people like attention, I love it, but I love it for different reasons. When I have peoples attention it is usually because I am trying to make them laugh and enjoy their day. It isn't because I haven't eaten a carb for 8 years and now I have abs and I want to show you a picture. Kudos to those people who take care of themselves, I have nothing but love for you, but we all know you look nice shirtless or in a bikini. Try getting attention another way like driving your car directly off the Hoan Bridge.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
The fact is as soon as I see a picture posted like this I am texting someone to say "did you see so and so's picture he/she just posted....wtf are they doing". If you think I am the only person doing this you are sadly mistaken. Everyone is talking about you, maybe that is what you want, but it is a BAD look. You look like an idiot who is craving the attention you are not getting at home. Instead of giving me the duck face why don't you ask your mom or dad if they want to hangout. Parents will give you the attention you desire.
Dudes- I will admit I don't go shirtless EVER because, WELL, because it simply isn't a good look and I don't want people to get sick. The good thing is I realize this. I just really have a problem with dudes who take photos of their abs, or flexing in the mirror and posting it to a social media site. Go ahead, call me jealous, you may be right, but while you call me jealous I am going to call you a DOUCHEBAG and so is everyone else except people who wear Ed Hardy still. What do you want from this, people to comment "hot abs dude". My guess is you post pictures because you feel the pressure around girls when you are out. You probably stand in the back of the bar with your Affliction shirt on and embroidered, sparkly jeans looking like a douche. Put on a fuckin hoody and a hat and post the picture of you and some friends drinking some beers and enjoying life.
Girls- Duck face....NO......Bikini shots in the mirror taken by yourself.....NO. I don't f'n care if you are a God damn super model you look like a whore. "HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, LOOK I AM WEARING A BIKINI AND POSING SEXY IN THE MIRROR BECAUSE I AM AN ATENTION SEEKING SLUT". Everything I just said can be thrown out the window if someone else takes the picture, if I see you holding a phone and taking the picture everything I said above still stands. Say whatever you want, plead your case, tell me why you took a picture of yourself and posted it on Facebook. I WILL CALL YOU A LIAR.
I understand people like attention, I love it, but I love it for different reasons. When I have peoples attention it is usually because I am trying to make them laugh and enjoy their day. It isn't because I haven't eaten a carb for 8 years and now I have abs and I want to show you a picture. Kudos to those people who take care of themselves, I have nothing but love for you, but we all know you look nice shirtless or in a bikini. Try getting attention another way like driving your car directly off the Hoan Bridge.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Things I Don't Know How to Do.
Never claimed to be a mans man, in fact I am the exact opposite of that. I am suprised my wife actually stays with me. As far as doing handyman/mans man work I am a joke. I don't really know how to hold a hammer, or use a shovel, or really anything else. I do know how to pay to get things done however. I want to change this, I want my wife to say "hey Justin, could you hang this picture for me" and the answer to be "Yes". Unfortunately right now I wouldn't know how to hang a picture. I am good at being a friend, remembering sports stats, and drinking. That doesn't help me though. My dad has shook his head at me many times in disgust. Today I am going to share with you a list of things I CANNOT DO. Remember I am a 32 year old male who grew up with a father who could do everything my mom asked. HERE WE GO......
1) Change my oil.
2) Hook up a VCR.
3) Hang a picture.
4) Check the air pressure in my tires
5) Set up wireless TV.
6) Grill anything. I have never flipped a burger on a grill in my life.
7) Put together anything, desks, shelving units, basically anything with an instruction manuel.
8) Kill spiders, centipedes or get anywhere near a mouse.
9) Anything electrical besides put a plug in or out.
10) Painting, it seems easy but I am terrible at it. Tons of streaks, missed spots.
11) Hanging a fixture.
12) Figuring out why something doesn't work.
13) Unplugging the toilet. Seriously, my wife does this.
14) I refuse to step foot on a ladder.
15) Putting sheets on a bed, I don't know why I just can't do it. Not manly at all, but I can't do it.
This was a list of 15 that I came up with in 5 minutes. I am worthless. Bob Vila would hate my ass. Hell, I hate my ass. Is there any hope for me? At 32 I should be able to do everything listed above. No worries though I still have good hair and my wife loves me. I think. Sometimes I just shake my head at myself. One word comes to mind. Pathetic.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
1) Change my oil.
2) Hook up a VCR.
3) Hang a picture.
4) Check the air pressure in my tires
5) Set up wireless TV.
6) Grill anything. I have never flipped a burger on a grill in my life.
7) Put together anything, desks, shelving units, basically anything with an instruction manuel.
8) Kill spiders, centipedes or get anywhere near a mouse.
9) Anything electrical besides put a plug in or out.
10) Painting, it seems easy but I am terrible at it. Tons of streaks, missed spots.
11) Hanging a fixture.
12) Figuring out why something doesn't work.
13) Unplugging the toilet. Seriously, my wife does this.
14) I refuse to step foot on a ladder.
15) Putting sheets on a bed, I don't know why I just can't do it. Not manly at all, but I can't do it.
This was a list of 15 that I came up with in 5 minutes. I am worthless. Bob Vila would hate my ass. Hell, I hate my ass. Is there any hope for me? At 32 I should be able to do everything listed above. No worries though I still have good hair and my wife loves me. I think. Sometimes I just shake my head at myself. One word comes to mind. Pathetic.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
My Take On Politics
Lies, deceit, scandal, BJs, blah blah blah it is all we ever hear about when talking about politics. You ask a politician a question you hear the same bullshit answer. Look, the United States is like 84 fijillion dollars in debt that shit ain't going away or going to get brushed under a rug. The funny thing is that Republican supporters believe that Romney and Ryan are just going to come into office and make shit happen. They are going to erase the deficit, they are going to create more jobs, they are going to wipe the asses of big business'......you know what I believe, none of that shit. Obama supporters believe that he has come into office and made some headway, things are turning around, there are more jobs. You want to know how much of this I believe, none of that shit. The numbers are so skewed on both sides that it is funny that anyone believes anything. How is it that there are like 7,000 different ways to find out if there are more or less jobs? Shouldn't that be simple math? Adding and subtracting? I use to be Mr. Republican and not even know what I was talking about, as I have grown up and have actually been involved in intelligent conversations I have learned a few things. What I have learned the most is I should just STFU. If you are going to add nothing to a conversation don't pretend to know what you are talking about. People have differing views, why would I think I am going to change someones mind. I don't give a shit how you vote, all I want to do is get drunk with you and talk about sports or what kind of porn you like. The people that really irritate me are the people on Facebook who think by writing a status ranting about how good or bad someone is it will change someones mind. Guess what, people don't give a shit about who you are voting for, you going ahead and do your thing and I am gonna do mine. I don't care what Mitt says he is gonna do, you wanna know why.....because Mitts ass is lying, Paul Ryan is a liar, Obama is a liar, and Joe Biden......is Joe Biden still alive?
Look, I am a confused individual, I don't know if I am Democrat or Republican, half the day I don't even know where I am. Here is how I am going to figure out what I am. I googled "Republican vs. Democrat" to see what separated the two sides. Here is what it told me. I am going to breakdown my thoughts on each issue for the world to see.
Economic Ideas- No matter what my ass is gonna get taxed. I got like $38 in checking. I say just print more money, give everyone like 10 million dollars and lets make it rain. Do whatever you want with that 10 mil, go to Poto, get some rims, buy a house....whatever you do that is all you are getting. Spend wisely.
Military Issues- Any country that F's with us just blow it up. How simple is that. Osamas ass didn't have any remorse for flying planes into the World trade Centers, I wouldn't have any remorse for watching people blow up into 1 million pieces. hell, put it on TV at 7pm on a Friday night, I will get a forty and watch people burn. Too much? I don't care.
Death Penalty- Simple, you kill someone with the intent to kill someone you should die. I actually think that the family of the deceased should get to set you on fire. No remorse for murderers.
Abortion- I am Pro Life.......until it happens to me. Then everything changes.
Stance on gay marriage- When I was growing up I always wanted to be cool and follow the cool kids and I truely didn't understand being gay. Well, I have grown up. Whether it is a choice or you are born that way I don't give a shit. I believe that everyone should have the right to be happy. Why should society be allowed to take that right away from a person. Plus I need some fashion tips.
These are just 4 very basic questions I answered when trying to figure out exactly where I stand. Guess what, I found out nothing because it is impossible for me to be serious.
The fact is, I try to find humor in things from politics to death to car accidents and maybe this will ruffle some feathers of the people who are super into politics. I DON'T CARE. You are being lied to, misinformed by greasey ass dudes who tell you exactly what you want to here. No matter who wins this years election I am still going to live my life, spend too much money on weekends and love my family. You can choose to do exactly what you want or vote for whoever you want, but I want you to think about my suggestion.
WRITE IN VOTE........GEORGE W. BUSH....he is still getting blamed for everything anyways.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Look, I am a confused individual, I don't know if I am Democrat or Republican, half the day I don't even know where I am. Here is how I am going to figure out what I am. I googled "Republican vs. Democrat" to see what separated the two sides. Here is what it told me. I am going to breakdown my thoughts on each issue for the world to see.
Economic Ideas- No matter what my ass is gonna get taxed. I got like $38 in checking. I say just print more money, give everyone like 10 million dollars and lets make it rain. Do whatever you want with that 10 mil, go to Poto, get some rims, buy a house....whatever you do that is all you are getting. Spend wisely.
Military Issues- Any country that F's with us just blow it up. How simple is that. Osamas ass didn't have any remorse for flying planes into the World trade Centers, I wouldn't have any remorse for watching people blow up into 1 million pieces. hell, put it on TV at 7pm on a Friday night, I will get a forty and watch people burn. Too much? I don't care.
Death Penalty- Simple, you kill someone with the intent to kill someone you should die. I actually think that the family of the deceased should get to set you on fire. No remorse for murderers.
Abortion- I am Pro Life.......until it happens to me. Then everything changes.
Stance on gay marriage- When I was growing up I always wanted to be cool and follow the cool kids and I truely didn't understand being gay. Well, I have grown up. Whether it is a choice or you are born that way I don't give a shit. I believe that everyone should have the right to be happy. Why should society be allowed to take that right away from a person. Plus I need some fashion tips.
These are just 4 very basic questions I answered when trying to figure out exactly where I stand. Guess what, I found out nothing because it is impossible for me to be serious.
The fact is, I try to find humor in things from politics to death to car accidents and maybe this will ruffle some feathers of the people who are super into politics. I DON'T CARE. You are being lied to, misinformed by greasey ass dudes who tell you exactly what you want to here. No matter who wins this years election I am still going to live my life, spend too much money on weekends and love my family. You can choose to do exactly what you want or vote for whoever you want, but I want you to think about my suggestion.
WRITE IN VOTE........GEORGE W. BUSH....he is still getting blamed for everything anyways.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Monday, August 13, 2012
Weekend Spending
Weekends come and go faster than you can blink. One minute it is Friday night and I am headed home from work and the next minute it is Sunday night and I am watching Step Brothers on FX for the 8th week in a row. That is not the basis of this blog however, this blog is to show you how impossible it is to stick to a budget. In my mind I am the best budgetor in the entire world. I know bills going out, money coming in.....but more importantly my wife and I know how to have a good time according to our bank account Monday morning. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSHHHHHH. I am going to walk you through a basic weekend of spending for the Czarnecki family.
Friday night after work my wife wanted to meet me at the Varsity Club after work, she brought her car, I brought mine, it was almost like a date which was kind of cool. I walked in, gave her a kiss, sat down to see that she was already about 4 sips into her Red Bull and vodka, I ordered a draft of Miller Lite and we began talking about our day. We both decided that we could go for a pizza so we order the large sausage, mushroom and onion pizza and for an appetizer we order motzerella sticks. We continue talking, I have about 3 more beers and she orders one more cocktail. When it was all said and done our first bill of the weekend was right around $50.00.
While we were eating I was receiving texts from Jessicas daughter about dinner, she was with her friends and wanted to know if they could go to Old Country Buffet, to which I asked if she had any money. Her response was "No", my response back was "go make some food at home then". Jess and I return home to see her daughter and two friends looking through the cabinets for food. The thing was they really wanted Jimmy Johns. Jess then handed her daughter over $30.00 for Jimmy Johns for her and her two friends. I thought it was a nice gesture although I dont think either of her friends said thank you. That pissed me off.
Sooooooo Jess and I get ready and go to Rays and Dots where we are meeting some friends for a drink or two before we relocate for the night to Village Days in Greendale. Jess has a Red Bull and Vodka, I have a draft of Modelo and also order a couple beers for our friends. We leave Ray and Dots 45 minutes later spending only $18.00.
It is now about 9pm and we have spent $98.00.
We walk to Village Days in Greendale which is basically summed up by a beer tent and a band singing Usher and Lady Gaga. Beers are going for $3.50 a piece and I am ready to make it rain. Jess and her girlfriend go order the first round, not sure who paid and the night begins. The rest of the night we bought rounds, our friends bought rounds blah blah blah. About half way through the night I noticed that I knew one of the dudes serving beers in the tent, from that point on the only thing I spent money on was tipping.
Waking up in the morning was fine, no headache to speak of, Jess felt great and the sun was shining. Jess went through her purse I went through my wallet and I didnt even have a quarter. She also was coming up empty meaning that the $200.00 that was taken out for the entire weekend was spent in a 7 hour period.
Lets move into Saturday shall we.....Jess has a hair appointment at 11:30am which will probably cost somewhere between $130-$160. I actually don't want to know so I won't even ask. I sit in bed thinking to myself well I want to do something during her hair appointment. I wanted some "me time". This is what my "me time" consisted of. I went to the dry cleaners and spent $37.00. I went to go see a movie by myself $7.50 for the ticket, $9.00 at the concession stand. I got a soda and some Reeses Pieces and it was $9.00. After the movie I notice that the sun is shining and I really wanted to buy some sunglasses. I have wanted them for a few months now and decided that there was no better time than now to spend $126.00 on sunglasses, so that is exactly what I did. By 1pm on saturday afternoon I am into our checking account for $180.00 and that isn't even adding in Jess' hair did. Lets just say that Jessicas hair costed $130.00 that puts us at $310.00 at 1:30pm on Saturday afternoon.
Now it is time to get ready and go to State Fair for the afternoon. We bought 2 tickets from some random dude on the street for $16.00. We get in and Jess wants a corndog $5.00 and I want a beer. While I am getting a beer Jess says "while you are it get me a Mikes Hard Lemonade".....$11.25. We walk around for a little bit making fun of the people and I get another beer $5.25. At this point I get a text from my friend Phillip Hansen telling us that he is by a bar with his fiance. Jess and I scoot on over there. We order drinks for us and them and luckily they take credit cards because I didn't want to spend any more cash. 4 beers cost me a measley $21.00. As I am standing there talking to my friend I realize I still owed him $40.00 from his bachelor party the weekend before. I ask Jess if she has any cash left and she does, she has exactly $40.00. We hand that over to PJ so there are no hard feelings. Now we don't have any cash left and it is 6pm in the late afternoon. At this point we have now spent $100.00 at State Fair with the $40.00 I owed Phillip. Phil and Andrea bought the next round and we took off to another beer tent. On the way to the beer tent Jess saw an ATM and took out another $100.00 and was charged a $3.00 fee.
We get to the beer tent and I am ready to have some fun, to make a really long story short I bought a few rounds, Phil bought a few rounds, my boss bought a few rounds and I have probably put another $80.00 on my credit card by the time Phil and Andrea needed to head out. After Phil and Andrea leave it is now time for Jess and I to get down and eat some food.
Here is what we had:
Corndog
Gyros
Nachos
Cheese Curds
Brat
And another Corn dog
The next morning Jess has $30.00 left from the $100.00 she took out. I spent $80.00 on my credit card. Grand total at State Fair $250.00.
Grand total Friday = $200.00
Grand total Saturday = $560.00
$760.00 later and all we have to show for it is a pair of sunglasses and Jess' new bangs.
Can anyone say they spent more this weekend?
The best part about it is that Friday afternoon Jess emailed me and said "should I take out $100.00 for the weekend".
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Friday night after work my wife wanted to meet me at the Varsity Club after work, she brought her car, I brought mine, it was almost like a date which was kind of cool. I walked in, gave her a kiss, sat down to see that she was already about 4 sips into her Red Bull and vodka, I ordered a draft of Miller Lite and we began talking about our day. We both decided that we could go for a pizza so we order the large sausage, mushroom and onion pizza and for an appetizer we order motzerella sticks. We continue talking, I have about 3 more beers and she orders one more cocktail. When it was all said and done our first bill of the weekend was right around $50.00.
While we were eating I was receiving texts from Jessicas daughter about dinner, she was with her friends and wanted to know if they could go to Old Country Buffet, to which I asked if she had any money. Her response was "No", my response back was "go make some food at home then". Jess and I return home to see her daughter and two friends looking through the cabinets for food. The thing was they really wanted Jimmy Johns. Jess then handed her daughter over $30.00 for Jimmy Johns for her and her two friends. I thought it was a nice gesture although I dont think either of her friends said thank you. That pissed me off.
Sooooooo Jess and I get ready and go to Rays and Dots where we are meeting some friends for a drink or two before we relocate for the night to Village Days in Greendale. Jess has a Red Bull and Vodka, I have a draft of Modelo and also order a couple beers for our friends. We leave Ray and Dots 45 minutes later spending only $18.00.
It is now about 9pm and we have spent $98.00.
We walk to Village Days in Greendale which is basically summed up by a beer tent and a band singing Usher and Lady Gaga. Beers are going for $3.50 a piece and I am ready to make it rain. Jess and her girlfriend go order the first round, not sure who paid and the night begins. The rest of the night we bought rounds, our friends bought rounds blah blah blah. About half way through the night I noticed that I knew one of the dudes serving beers in the tent, from that point on the only thing I spent money on was tipping.
Waking up in the morning was fine, no headache to speak of, Jess felt great and the sun was shining. Jess went through her purse I went through my wallet and I didnt even have a quarter. She also was coming up empty meaning that the $200.00 that was taken out for the entire weekend was spent in a 7 hour period.
Lets move into Saturday shall we.....Jess has a hair appointment at 11:30am which will probably cost somewhere between $130-$160. I actually don't want to know so I won't even ask. I sit in bed thinking to myself well I want to do something during her hair appointment. I wanted some "me time". This is what my "me time" consisted of. I went to the dry cleaners and spent $37.00. I went to go see a movie by myself $7.50 for the ticket, $9.00 at the concession stand. I got a soda and some Reeses Pieces and it was $9.00. After the movie I notice that the sun is shining and I really wanted to buy some sunglasses. I have wanted them for a few months now and decided that there was no better time than now to spend $126.00 on sunglasses, so that is exactly what I did. By 1pm on saturday afternoon I am into our checking account for $180.00 and that isn't even adding in Jess' hair did. Lets just say that Jessicas hair costed $130.00 that puts us at $310.00 at 1:30pm on Saturday afternoon.
Now it is time to get ready and go to State Fair for the afternoon. We bought 2 tickets from some random dude on the street for $16.00. We get in and Jess wants a corndog $5.00 and I want a beer. While I am getting a beer Jess says "while you are it get me a Mikes Hard Lemonade".....$11.25. We walk around for a little bit making fun of the people and I get another beer $5.25. At this point I get a text from my friend Phillip Hansen telling us that he is by a bar with his fiance. Jess and I scoot on over there. We order drinks for us and them and luckily they take credit cards because I didn't want to spend any more cash. 4 beers cost me a measley $21.00. As I am standing there talking to my friend I realize I still owed him $40.00 from his bachelor party the weekend before. I ask Jess if she has any cash left and she does, she has exactly $40.00. We hand that over to PJ so there are no hard feelings. Now we don't have any cash left and it is 6pm in the late afternoon. At this point we have now spent $100.00 at State Fair with the $40.00 I owed Phillip. Phil and Andrea bought the next round and we took off to another beer tent. On the way to the beer tent Jess saw an ATM and took out another $100.00 and was charged a $3.00 fee.
We get to the beer tent and I am ready to have some fun, to make a really long story short I bought a few rounds, Phil bought a few rounds, my boss bought a few rounds and I have probably put another $80.00 on my credit card by the time Phil and Andrea needed to head out. After Phil and Andrea leave it is now time for Jess and I to get down and eat some food.
Here is what we had:
Corndog
Gyros
Nachos
Cheese Curds
Brat
And another Corn dog
The next morning Jess has $30.00 left from the $100.00 she took out. I spent $80.00 on my credit card. Grand total at State Fair $250.00.
Grand total Friday = $200.00
Grand total Saturday = $560.00
$760.00 later and all we have to show for it is a pair of sunglasses and Jess' new bangs.
Can anyone say they spent more this weekend?
The best part about it is that Friday afternoon Jess emailed me and said "should I take out $100.00 for the weekend".
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Monday, July 30, 2012
25,000 Beers
The college experience means something different to every person who decides that they want 4-8 more years of classes, papers, lectures, projects and nonsense. Ideally the student would be done in four years and move on to their life in a cubicle, but for some of us it didn't happen this way. Some of us got caught up in the social atmosphere, the pizza, the 3 hour lunches in the cafeteria with 10 friends as well as the late night parties and beer drinking. I was one of those guys, the guy who wanted the booze. I had quite a thirst from the ages 18-23 and it needed to be quenched. My grades lacked, my class attendence varied from good to bad and from bad to worse. I did score 100% on one thing though, I never missed a party. I am not writing this to tell you how great of idea this was or to brag, I am just writing this because I am an idiot. I let the social aspect of college get the best of me. I made a ton of life long friends during these 5 years and I never met a beer I didn't like. I have told my story before and I will tell you all just one more time and I will take this to my grave. In college I consumed over 25,000 beers. Laugh if you will, tell me I didn't and I will tell you I did. We can argue back and forth if you want, I know in my heart the number is probably closer to 30,000, but I don't want to jump ahead of myself.
Let me break the numbers down for you before you continue to tell me this didn't happen.
365 days in 1 year(DUH) x 5.5 years in college = 2,007 days / 25,000 beers = 12.45 Beers per day.
I do agree, 12.45 beers per day sounds like crazy talk(psssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) you have to remember I was in my absolute prime. From years 3-5 I warmeed up with a 12er before going to happy hour. There were plenty of nights I was at 20 by 11am and 27 by bar close. It just wouldn't stop, I didn't want it to stop. There were nights when I was devastated and heartbroken that the bar time lights would come on(but that only lasted for about 1 minute because I knew it was Rosas time).
LOOK- believe what you want, but there will never be a day in my life when you will tell me that this didn't happen. Question it, think about it, talk to your friends about it, but I am taking this one 6 feet deep.
Dorm beers + house party beers + UR house beers + happy hour beers + $5 all you can drink at the Huddle, Mainstreet and Pub beers + more beers = 25,000 beers
Rack ME.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Let me break the numbers down for you before you continue to tell me this didn't happen.
365 days in 1 year(DUH) x 5.5 years in college = 2,007 days / 25,000 beers = 12.45 Beers per day.
I do agree, 12.45 beers per day sounds like crazy talk(psssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) you have to remember I was in my absolute prime. From years 3-5 I warmeed up with a 12er before going to happy hour. There were plenty of nights I was at 20 by 11am and 27 by bar close. It just wouldn't stop, I didn't want it to stop. There were nights when I was devastated and heartbroken that the bar time lights would come on(but that only lasted for about 1 minute because I knew it was Rosas time).
LOOK- believe what you want, but there will never be a day in my life when you will tell me that this didn't happen. Question it, think about it, talk to your friends about it, but I am taking this one 6 feet deep.
Dorm beers + house party beers + UR house beers + happy hour beers + $5 all you can drink at the Huddle, Mainstreet and Pub beers + more beers = 25,000 beers
Rack ME.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
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