Tips to People Who Spend Their Lives in a Cubicle.

Few things really get me excited anymore, but there are some things.....When Lillian scores a goal in her soccer game, when Brittany asks me if I heard a new rap song, when Jess tells me she is excited to go out for a drink, Christmas day NBA games on TV so I don't have to socialize with family members who are going to ask me the same questions....just to name a few.  Nothing makes me feel better than when you catch your co-worker in their cube sneaking a peak on a website that isn't their actual work.  I have Facebook on one of my 6 tabs all day long and I talk to the same people on it for hours per day.  My morning conversation is with Jay Lorino about the workout at the gym, Steve Kohl is going to tell me about how he hates winter and wonders why he still lives in Wisconsin, Jared Dwyer and I just talk about random things that help us get through the day.  Whatever it is if you work in a cube 9-10 hours per day 5 days per week you are going to have time to waste.  No one in the cube world works all 40 hours per week.  The thing is if you think no one saw you on a that website you are mistaking.  You cannot click off fast enough when people are walking by, someone always sees you.  I am professional, let me give you 3 tips on becoming a professional web surfer in your cube.

1) Learn the noises of your office, the creaks of peoples chairs, the tone of their voice, the sound of their cough,  You can always be one step ahead of that co-worker who is going to bring up the fact that he/she saw you on the internet at a company happy hour.  People will do anything to try and make themselves look superior.    When that is brought up in front of your co-workers...OWN IT.  Don't ever say "No I wasn't".  Everyone who works in a cube is on the internet all day long.


2) Always have an excuse ready for the boss.  If you are on the internet and get caught by your boss be prepared to give a quick excuse.  Example- if I am diving deep into research for my fantasy basketball team on ESPN.com and the boss walks by and says "Justin why are you on ESPN.com during the work day"?  I would be prepared to say "just checking to see what time World Series Game 1 is on tonight".  Then I would follow that up with a question like "who are you rooting for".  I need to quickly get his mind off the fact that I wasn't doing actual work.


3) Try to become friends with all your other cubemates.  OWN THEM.  Tell them why you don't care if you get caught on the internet.  Make them understand the process, make them realize that in order to drag yourself into this cube everyday you need a little "you time".  By doing this they will get the same feeling and after 2 months of being in the same cube you don't even have to think about clicking off.  They just understand.  Soon they will be asking you if you saw this or that on some website.  That is when you have them right where you want them.


Anyone who works in a cube/office setting knows about clicking off when they feel the presence of another co-worker or boss.  The thing our bosses don't realize is that we do 10 honest hours of work per week leaving us with 30 hours to not be bored out of our minds. They think we are all busy as shit all day, everyday.   What the hell are you suppose to do?  OVER ACHIEVE? Pssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh......remember you are not a heart surgeon and you aren't going to change the world.  Just imagine doing this for the next 25 years of your life.


Hugs and Handpounds,

Czar

21 days into MY 56 day CHALLENGE...

3 weeks ago I decided to challenge myself for the first time in years.  I believe the last challenege I faced before this was when I visited Brian Johnson at Ripon College, we went to Subway and he told me there was NO WAY I could eat 3 feet of sub.  I took the challenge and made him look silly.  I devoured all 3 feet and then I felt sick for the rest of the night.  I believe I had 1/2 of a beer and was sleeping before 10pm CST.  Since then I have just been lackidasical, someone who just goes with the flow and walks away or cheats on most things I am challeneged by.   I go hard for about a week and then I give up, mainly because I don't have anything to prove and my name won't show up in the local newspaper.  I decided to take on a 56 day nationwide health challenge called the Lurong Challenge(http://www.lurongliving.com/challenge/.)  This shit ain't no joke.  No dairy, No carbs, No soda, No booze, No grains, No sugars.........basically I am eating meat, chicken, pork, eggs, veggies and drinking water.  This is a serious challenge for me, I am a big dude, I didn't get this way by always eating and drinking healthy.  I will be the first to admit I have cheated or slipped up in my first 21 days, BUT I get right back at it the very next day. I haven't had a soda, or any noodles or anything besides a granola bar and few beers at a wedding.  I want to suceed in this challenge, not only to make myself healthier, but also to give myself a mindf&*^.  Sometimes we need to be mentally challenged to see what you are actually capable of.  I will tell you a life change/diet is a lot more mental than anything.  I am currently down around 15 lbs and feeling pretty damn good.   35 more days to make a lot more happen.  After the challenge is over I KNOW I will be incorporating this way of eating into my daily life.  That being said I will also go back to having a beer or 17 or some chicken wings here and there.  I can see how eating healthy makes you feel, not only physically, but mentally and personally I like it.  Stay tuned, in 35 more days I will be giving you the end results.  Hopefully everything will be positive and I won't have fallen off the healthy wagon.

I don't usually blog about serious things, but the name of my blog is "I Motivate You" and I want to motivate some of the people who read the bullshit I usually write.  If you have been wanting to do something, challenege yourself and make it happen.  If I can do it anybody can do it.  Believe me.

Good luck.

Hugs and Handpounds,

Czar

Engaged, 1 Year Ago.

One year ago today I got engaged.  I didn't pop the question in super romantic, get on one knee, everyone starts crying type of way.  I sat on one couch, Jess went upstairs to tuck Lillian into bed, and I had a diamond ring in my pocket.  I didn't know exactly what I was going to do, but I knew I had to act fast.  I came up with the brilliant idea to send her a text message asking her to marry me.  Her phone was sitting on the coffee table, I knew when she came back downstairs, it would be the first thing she would look at.  So I sent the text, she came downstairs, looked at her phone, I was holding the ring and she almost shit in her pants.  I think her reply was something along the lines of "shut the f*&% up".  Jess has such a delicate mouth.  Happiness ensued, Jess looked at the ring on her finger about 6,341 times before it actually felt real.  Then she said "can we put this on Facebook"?  Well yeah, we need to get this out there to see how many "likes" and "comments" we can get.  Forget calling our parents or loved ones, lets get this thing on Facebook.  That being said it was a pretty awesome night that I will never forget, but the best part of it was when Jess' daughter Brittany walked down the stairs and Jess said "hey Britt, guess what"?  Then she showed her the ring.... Britts exact words were "STFU".  Keep in mind this is a 4.0, 8th grade student who neither Jess nor I has ever heard swear.  It was a good reaction.  I believe she began to cry and then it was all real.  I was going to have an immediate family and it was awesome.

In the last year Jess and I bought a house in December, got married in May, and continue to fight about what we are going to watch on tv nightly.  That being said this has been the best year of my life and I wouldn't trade it for a thing.  In every relationship there are ups and downs, but if the love is real good things can and will happen.

I LOVE YOU JESS, LILLIAN, AND BRITTANY!

PS-

Lillian- I need at least 2 goals out of you at Saturdays soccer game.

Britt- Even though you spend most of your time in your room because you are embarressed to be seen with your mother and I, I think you and I get along so well because of our love for rap music.  Don't worry I won't tell your mother or father about the songs we listen to on your iPod when we drive to Sheboygan to meet your dad.  Totally between us.

Jess- Hang in there with me and we will have a wonderful HAPPILY EVER AFTER!  Tonight I plan on coming home, lighting a candle and making you a nice Banquet meal in the microwave.  That's real love girl.

Love,

Justin