Today I want to talk about the people who love to tell you that they are either working out or about to workout or tell you how many miles they ran or post their running route via social media. Before you all get super pissed off and say "Czar maybe you should follow our lead and workout because you are fat"........STFU. I am big and sexy and I do workout, but I workout just so I could go eat and drink whatever I want. I wasn't in the gym grunting and screaming until another ab would appear. Believe me there are thousands of reasons for working out and whatever your reason is I don't care, you just do your damn thang. Whether you want to lose weight, get toned, do tons of steroids, talk to people at work about what your bench is I don't care. I am all for people becoming more healthy. Last week I started a 56 day challenge at my gym in which I cannot drink soda, drink alcohol, eat dairy, eat grains etc.....so I do have the right to blog about this. Today actually marked the first week involved in the challenge and let me tell you I WANT a soda bad, I need a BEER worse, but I am not going to because I want to get more healthy. I have told the people who care about me and the people involved in the challenge at the gym how my first week went, but I will not report in on social media because that is against what I stand for. If you are trying to make a change be humble about it and don't look for people to tell you how awesome you are. Do shit for you.
Just know that when you check in from the gym this is how I and all the rest of your friends want to respond.
"Oh you are at the gym again huh, guess what, I and your other 608 friends don't give a shit". Are you looking for me to say "good job, you are so pretty and in shape, I wish I could find the time and motivation to be just like you, I saw you the other day and WOW do you look great, bangin bod, I want to be just like you." FU! FU! FU! I hope you sprain your god damn ankle.
Guess what it ain't coming from me. I am actually at home waiting for your next status update to be "I was at the gym today and I broke my leg". Now that is entertaining and what should be on your status. At least you will give all your friends a good chuckle you asshole.
If you are writing a status update about how how far you ran or showing us your "running route" here is how I and all your other friends would like to respond.
"Oh cool, out for a run again, I hope you you have a backpack full of weights and run directly into Lake Michigan and drown."
Believe me, everyone is thinking it and now I am saying it. No one gives a shit about how far you ran. Whatever happened to setting a goal for yourself and not having to get the comfort of your friends?
There are the type of men and women who are absolute gym beasts and their lives are dedicated to being healthy, if you fit this description than this blog does not pertain to you. It pertains to the people who go to the gym one time per week and want the world to know they are back on track and about to make a big change until they don't enter the gym doors again for another week. Again if you check in or Facebook status about the gym, I am sorry, but your friends truely are bothered by you and talk about you behind your back. No lie.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Monday, September 24, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
At My Funeral...
You know what.....there are some real shitheads in the world. The type of people who you despise to be around. The type of people who give you anxiety because you never know what they are going to do, what they are going to say and who they are going to offend. I HATE those people, I hope I am not one of those people to anybody. I know in high school some people thought I was an asshole, this was never my intention. I wanted to be cool with every group of people from goth to jocks to valley girls to nerdy guys to nerdy girls to hispanics to blacks to whoever was roaming the halls. Unfortunately I did not come off this way to a few people and for that I would like to apologize. I told my stepdaughter a few months ago that if a dude is mean to you it probably means he likes you. Maybe that was my problem, maybe I just had a crush on the people I was mean to. Right now I don't know.....I am happily married to a gangster ass chick who lets me be me. This brings me to my point, I think a lot of people do not realize the impact they have on other people. How do you want to be remembered when you are worm food? What do you want people to say about you? I have decided to tell you how I hope I am remembered after I die.
When you all stand up at my funeral and talk about me I hope it goes something like this
Justin Matthew Czarnecki was a good dude, sometimes he thought he was black and had often been called a "wigger". Through his college years he was the only white person I knew who was draped in P. Diddys clothing line Sean John. He is a lover of hip hop and R&B and boy bands. Justin loved his family and although his wife Jessica sometimes wanted to murder him, she understood him and let him be an asshole because that is who he was. His stepdaughters could count on him if they needed anything whether it was a TI-84 calculater or support at a sporting event they knew he would be on the sideline talking about his glory days and how he once struck out 20 out of 21 batters when he was 15 against the Cardinals during the first game of the senior season. Justin wouldn't want his funeral to be a time of tears and emotions. Instead he would rather there be a 2 drink minimum and 2Pac on the speakers bumpin "Bury Me a G". Justin would want you to tell stories about how he made you laugh, how he made you feel better about yourself or the time he bought you 5 drinks and you never bought him one back. He wasn't a handyman, he couldn't hook up a VCR, he wasn't sure how to use a wrench. but he was a cool ass dude and someone I know would help me if I had a problem. He enjoyed his relationships he had with his best friends and their families, but he is probably happy he never has to go to another kids birthday party. The thing that bothered Justin the most was facebook status' that included talking shit about your ex-partner, political nonsense, pictures of your food and people who were begging for help and or attention. He secretly hoped all those people would find the dirt before he did. Justin was a firm believer that the day he died nothing would happen other than everything fading to black and his corpse becoming a buffet for all insects and creatures who were hungry. Above all he wanted to make sure his family and friends were happy with the life they chose. The last thing he hoped is that his funeral would be an all day party that included bottle service, grinding, rap music and everyone being happy. Cheers to Justin, Czar, Bobby, Bows, Frozen Toes, Biscuits, Juice and anything else you called him.
Please make my funeral a party and remember to pour a little out.
I don't want people at my funeral talking about how much I was disliked. I encourage everyone to make a firm impact on everyone you come across. Say something people will remember forever, don't waste your life being the person who thinks they know everything. Make people smile it will be part of your legacy.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
When you all stand up at my funeral and talk about me I hope it goes something like this
Justin Matthew Czarnecki was a good dude, sometimes he thought he was black and had often been called a "wigger". Through his college years he was the only white person I knew who was draped in P. Diddys clothing line Sean John. He is a lover of hip hop and R&B and boy bands. Justin loved his family and although his wife Jessica sometimes wanted to murder him, she understood him and let him be an asshole because that is who he was. His stepdaughters could count on him if they needed anything whether it was a TI-84 calculater or support at a sporting event they knew he would be on the sideline talking about his glory days and how he once struck out 20 out of 21 batters when he was 15 against the Cardinals during the first game of the senior season. Justin wouldn't want his funeral to be a time of tears and emotions. Instead he would rather there be a 2 drink minimum and 2Pac on the speakers bumpin "Bury Me a G". Justin would want you to tell stories about how he made you laugh, how he made you feel better about yourself or the time he bought you 5 drinks and you never bought him one back. He wasn't a handyman, he couldn't hook up a VCR, he wasn't sure how to use a wrench. but he was a cool ass dude and someone I know would help me if I had a problem. He enjoyed his relationships he had with his best friends and their families, but he is probably happy he never has to go to another kids birthday party. The thing that bothered Justin the most was facebook status' that included talking shit about your ex-partner, political nonsense, pictures of your food and people who were begging for help and or attention. He secretly hoped all those people would find the dirt before he did. Justin was a firm believer that the day he died nothing would happen other than everything fading to black and his corpse becoming a buffet for all insects and creatures who were hungry. Above all he wanted to make sure his family and friends were happy with the life they chose. The last thing he hoped is that his funeral would be an all day party that included bottle service, grinding, rap music and everyone being happy. Cheers to Justin, Czar, Bobby, Bows, Frozen Toes, Biscuits, Juice and anything else you called him.
Please make my funeral a party and remember to pour a little out.
I don't want people at my funeral talking about how much I was disliked. I encourage everyone to make a firm impact on everyone you come across. Say something people will remember forever, don't waste your life being the person who thinks they know everything. Make people smile it will be part of your legacy.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
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