Possible Groomsman and their credentials......

On the 11th day February this year I hit the ripe age of 30. I always envisioned myself being 25 and happily married to a girl whose name I wont mention. Some people want the white picket fence, a two story house and the sounds of kids running through the neighborhood. Hell, I would also like that, but I will settle for some wood, windows, dirt yard and of course air conditioning. Basically I just always want to be happy. I want to walk through my door and smile, sometimes it isnt about what you have, it is about how you feel.

I am actually getting waaaaaaay ahead of myself. I dont have a girfriend or a fiance or even a date for Friday night. I am ok with that, it is kind of how I roll.

We are going to play a pretend game here however, the game is going to be called "if Justin was getting married Saturday who would be in his wedding party".

I am going to list names and tell you about this person how I see them, basically their pros and cons.

Jay Lorino Jr- This is my bestest friend in the world, he will be my Best Man. We have grown up together and he is probably the person who I have spent the most time with in my life. Recently he has become a badass and painted his arms full of tattoos. My guess is right now he is trying to get jumped into a motorcycle gang.

Dan Flanagan-I met this guy the 1st day of college in freshman English. I stared at him and he stared back at me. Sometimes you just know when 2 meatheads will have a bond. I have seen him smash noses and also smash a 9 iron through a wall. Since college he has changed a bit, he now hikes, does half-marathons, and eats veggie burgers. He is also recently engaged to his college sweetheart Amy, good cover up dude.

Ox Johnsen- Currently rated #3 in the GCS. Ox is just a good dude, he tells me I should go to church, but doesnt force it on me. He will also come over on Sundays and eat a large Pizza Hut pizza when Anissa lets him. I think I could count on him for just about anything unless it was buying me a beer at the bar.

Mick Savatovic- This guy just flat out gets it done, body of an angel, hair like a Zeus, girls and guys alike flock to him like he is Don Johnson in the late 80s. He has been my barber for about 15 years and he also probably owes me about $7000.00 since I use to pay for him to eat everyday in high school. His jumper may be a little off these days, but his looks are not.

Steve Todd- Smartest man I know, works like 100 hours a week. He probably wont be able to attend if it during tax season. He also likes to drink and use his head in altercations. He dresses well, he smells good and wont pass up a good kareoke jam. Ohhhhhh and he loves to go skins.

Luke Slawson- Actually known as "Buzz" loves to drink and puke. Most of the time it is Jack Daniels or Goose and energy. He would give me the shirt of his back although it wouldnt be big enough. He and I are known sweaters so it is the perspiration that bonds us.

Aaron Todd- He is emotional about politics and has a strong love for television. The mans dvr works overtime like Lucas LeMaster at LA Cage. I was a late replacement in his wedding so he is going to get a look. The only think that may hold him back is he continues to say that I dont like to day drink and it is pissing me off.

Phil Hansen- He once dropped 39 in a JV basketball game, he is ALWAYS the last guy out of the group to be ready to go out. He has a shoe collection similar to Kimora Simmons and is always down to go to 6 Degrees. His love for frozen pizza is amazing and he is actually very very attractive. Girls and guys dont get any wrong ideas, he is taken.

Lucas Gary LeMaster- He will probably have a bachelor party the day of my wedding.

Bryan Lutzke- He will probably have to find out if he has something better to do that day, if not I am sure he would show some face. The man knows how to dress, he has Versace glasses and smells of pure sex. I get SUPER pissed off anytime I lose to him in fantasy sports....just because it is Lutzke and everyone who knows him knows what I am talking about.

Jeremy Johnson- If I can wake him up he might come. It also depends on the spread and the over/under.

Steve Tutkowski- He is also recently married and I still question it. I have seen him do some very interesting things with MEN. He taught me in college what the "other" lifestyle was about and it hasnt changed for 12 years. The man can throw a softball over those mountains and he has different outlooks on how the world was created.

Steve Kohl- probably like 12th alternate.

This is an inside look at what could down, who knows things could change and YOU might become fortunate enough to be involved in the greatest day the world will ever see.

Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar

Unsolved Mysteries....

Last July after 5 months of depression from a breakup I decided to join the website Match.com. Now from previous blogs you know I believe that you can find love anywhere, so while sitting at my best friends house I decided to give this website a try. As I set my profile up I filled in page after page of questions and also a section titled "About Me". Obviously you all know that I love me some me, so this page would be easy. I thought about each direction I could go with this, but I decided to stay on track and answer the question truthfully.

Listed below is exactly what I wrote, it is actually copy and pasted from Match.com.

I enjoy time with friends and family, going to sporting events, drinking gin, dancing when I have had too much to drink, chillin' on Sundays. All and all I am a fun guy who loves life.

Now I know I am not a supermodel, I know I love to eat and from this I have developed a weight problem....but I also know that I am cool as SHIT. I know that people enjoy being around me, I know that I can make people laugh, I know at one point or another you and I have probably had fun together.

As I look through some of the girls profiles on Match.com I notice one constant thing 100% of them say...."I want a guy who has a great personality, sense of humor and he MUST be able to make me laugh".

I call BULLSHIT. If that is all you want I am right here. Look no further. The fact is that girls want the HOTTEST guy they can get. It doesnt matter how good their personailty is or how funny the guy is. The guy with the 6 pack and 5 oclock shadow is always a better option than the overweight guy who is fun to be with. Dont get me wrong, I want abs, but I just dont think they are anywhere in my near future.

All I am asking is for women to tell the truth.....when filling in the "what you are looking for" section on a dating website please write the following. "I am looking for a hot, juiced guido, with a body like the situations and he must treat me like shit".

I will challenge any girl who is going to text me and say this isnt true to a date off. You go find "the perfect guy" and take him out on a date.....Then you go out on a date with me. I will guarentee we will have more fun. Im just sayin.....

Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar