Flanagans Bachelor Party...

Who ever would have thought that Dan Flanagan would be getting married? Not me, I am actually pretty sure he is still gay. The man who is known for the million dollar shiteater and the right hand of Casius Clay. I will never forget the day I saw Daniel in my freshman english class at UWW, what a fuckin dickhead he was. He was wearing a white t-shirt and black basketball shorts. I knew he and I would become good friends after the first 5 minutes of class. Our professor asked us to go around the room and introduce ourselves starting with an adjective that described ourself followed by our name. Dickhead Flanagan says this "hey I am unattentive Dan". After those few words were muttered it was like love at first sight. He and I got to talking after class and began walking as slow as we could back to the dorms everyday after class. We would do this on purpose so people would walk around us. We were dickheads, unfortunately you couldnt help but like us.

Enough about the boring shit, Flan and I have now been friends for the last 12 years and we just truely understand eachother. A few years back he moved out to Las Vegas in one final attempt to be with the girl of his dreams. Fortunately the move worked out in his favor and on November 12th he and Amy will be tying the knot in Las Vegas.

Cute fuckin story........

Dan told me multiple times he didnt want to have a bachelor party, but Jay Lorino and I decided that he was going to get one whether he likes it or not. I bought him a plane ticket to fly him back to Milwaukee for the weekend. Now because we just thought about this 2 weeks ago not too many people can make the festivities, but guess what...............I dont give a shit if you can make it or not......I am going to have fun if it was just Flan, Jay and I. We have between 12-18 guys coming and I can promise you this.....there will be stories told about this event.

Since Dan lives in Vegas I have posted below the Vegas lines of things that I believe have a chance to happen tomorrow night.

2:1- Steve-O goes skins at some point.

3:1 - Slawson smokes 3 packs of heat.

4:1- Jay says at some point "I'm not that bad, I could drive right now"

5:1-Slawson pukes

6:1- Flan and I get in some kind of argument

7:1- I get kicked out of the strip club

8:1 - JD says "Braaa" 15 or more times

9:1 - GAYtor doesnt show up

10:1 - Jeremy makes over $4,000 worth of bets from Jays garage during the period of the day

11:1 - Cops come

12:1 - Jay does burnouts in his garage with his motorcylce

13:1 -Ambulance comes

14:1 - Someone almost gets in a fight

15:1 - Flan passes out before 10pm

16:1 - Slawson is texting for at least 8 hours out of the 12 hours

17:1 - I write a Facebook status every hour

18:1 - PJ bongs 3 or more 4 Lokos

Stay tuned for a MOnday morning update of how much of this stuff really happened.

Hugs and Handpounds,

Czar

The Perfect Boyfriend...

On February 11th I will turn 31 years old, I thought by this time in my life I would have a beautiful wife, 2 boys Miles and Jack, 2 girls Emily and Morgan, a house on a lake where we would have Sunday picnics and family band practice. Unfortunately the reality of the situation is a little different.....I have no wife, no kids, I live with West Allis with a buddy and we vacuum about 1 time every 3 months. If you were hungry you could probably make a pretty decent meal by picking up food that doesnt make it to our mouths and falls on the floor. As friends and family continue to get married I continue to go to their weddings and think about my own situation. I enjoy being me, I like the fact that people enjoy being around me. I also like the fact that friends know if they had a problem they could come to me and I will help them. The truth is I want to be as happy as all my married friends so this blog is to inform you why I would be the perfect boyfriend and a great future husband.

1. Obviously I am no super model, but believe me there are people who are worse off in the looks department than I am. I have a smile that can light up the room. If you dont believe me ask Marnie Renteria, she has told me before.

2. Sense of humor, if you are reading this I am guarenteeing you think I am funny. I have gone most of my life telling jokes, poking fun, and humiliating people......usually in good taste.

3. Personality, it is hard to find a personality quite like mine. I am kind, caring, compassionate, loving and fun. What else do you want? Actually you probably like dickheads.

4. Respectful, I will open your car door, I will say thank you, yes sir, no sir and by the end of the day your father will love me.

5. Sarcasm, take it for what it is worth because with me you are going to get a full dosage of it. If you dont like it then you and I probably wont work. I say things that will challenge you and the best part about it is if I see you are offended I can say "I was just kidding". I have done it all my life and people never really know if I was kidding or not. Jokes on you.

Just like everyone else I have my flaws, I would rather touch on why I am so amazing rather than telling everyone that I can eat 3 feet of Subway subs. I would rather talk about my perfectly placed hair rather than my dirty bedroom.

Justin Czarneckis dating life is open for business and accepting applications. You think that with all the people I know and all the people who enjoy my company that I should be married. I feel like I should have ladies in line waiting for me to get divoriced, but.......I dont. I am a 30 year old male who now enjoys local dive bars more than the glitz and the glam of downtown. I like a cute girl who will wear a Yankees hat and has a tramp stamp. I like a girl who wants to go to Ponderosa and wants to leave when she is about to puke. I like a girl with flaws, but smiles when I come and pick her up. Most importantly I like a girl who will not judge me for wearing my homemade capri sweatpants and musty boat shoes.

This is simply stating facts on why I am actually amazing and why you readers need to help me out. Below I have listed what I am looking for.

Cute, funny, sarcastic, stylish, into side pony tails, and I am not against dating people I work with.


Hugs and Handpounds,

Czar