Thanksgiving Realness....

Sooooo Thanksgiving is tomorrow and everyone is in a good mood because most of us get the next two days off, we get to stuff our face, and we get to spend time with family and loved ones.  I see people on Facebook writing status updates about what they are thankful for and GOD does that make me feel good, however lets be honest.....Holidays are stressful.  You go over to your parents house, they ask like 2 million questions that they ask you everytime you see them.  You got kids running around the house, you tell them to stop, but that only makes them run faster.  As many drinks as you have you can't catch a buzz, the always awkward prayer, the even more awkward toast and so on.  Don't get me wrong, the older I get the more I enjoy family time, but this is real shit, this is what actually happens.  You can say you are thankful as much as you want, but the truth is you are constantly checking your phone or waiting for someone to leave first so you can follow their lead.  So yes, there are pros and cons.  I am lucky it is usually just my family, my sisters family and my mom and dad.  When there are like 50 people I need to be heavily medicated, tons of xanex and lexapro.  Just tons of non-stop action and loud talking.  You all know exactly what I am talking about.

With that being said I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I bet most of you are at the bar by 8pm, so get back to me with how thankful you really are. 


Hugs and Handpounds,

Czar

Honest Job Interview...

Everyone has a different feeling when dealing with face to face job interviews.  Some it doesn't bother at all, while most of us get an extreme case of butterflies and the shits.  You feel prepared, you look good, and as soon as you get called into that office it is like a switch and everything changes.  Your hands become cold, your tongue gets in the way of everything you are trying to say and 30 minutes later when you walk out of that office you feel like a turd.  You get into your car, call some one, they ask "Soooooooo how did it go"?  Your reply no matter how bad it went is "I think it went pretty good".  Lies, all f'n lies.  I don't care how bad ass you think you are it has happened to all of us. 

This blog isn't entirely about that though, it is about the job interview process, however I have a twist.  We are so use to going to interviews and saying exactly what the possible employer wants to hear.  It is all bullshit, none of what we say we actually mean, some of the words we use we don't even know the actual meaning of.  It is basically a kiss ass contest to get a job.

I am going to change it up, I am going to interview myself and tell you exactly how I WANT to respond to every question I am asked.

Here we go............

Question 1

Good morning Justin how are you?

Answer:

"Well actually I am hoping to get this interview over as soon as possible because my boss at my current job thinks I am just going to lunch.  So the quicker we can get this moving the better."

Question 2

What exactly do you do at your current job?

Answer

"I usually get there about 10 minutes late everyday, but when I finally get to my cubicle, I turn my computer on, log on to Facebook to see the status updates I missed from the time I went to bed until the time I got to work.  Then I set my fantasy basketball lineup, read Barstool Sports Blog, go to the bathroom, talk to some people in the office, go back to my desk and think about doing some work.  I usually text a few friends and try to make plans for the weekend.  Then I look at my work emails, then I email my wife to see how her day is going.  By around 11am I usually do something work related, but that lasts about 2 minutes before I get completely off task and get a notification on Facebook that someone "liked" my status.  Then I go to get lunch for 90 minutes, come back look at more websites, email, text and drink tons of soda.  Before I know it, it is 5pm and the day is over.  I do that 5 days per week".


Question 3

Why do you think you are the person for the job?

Answer

"I probably am not the right choice, I am a slacker, but if you give me the job I will try and cut down my internet usage and stay on task.  I want to work for your company, but only because the salary is higher and I am sick of my current job.  I will probably stay here for about 15 months and then begin my job search again.  There is no job that can really keep my attention, I wanted to either be a rapper or an athlete, but that didn't work out so now I have to do all this bullshit that I actually hate."


Question 4

Would you consider yourself a team player in the work atmosphere?

Answer

"Not really, I do like company happy hours though, especially when the company is paying.  I am more of a guy who does shit for myself, everytime I try to become a team player people tend to tell me I bring nothing to the table.  Pisses me off and then I usually talk shit to them, then there is tons of office tension that I am usually the center of."


Question 5

What do you think you will bring to the company?

Answer

"Remember what I said when you asked me question 2?  Probably about that same thing."


Question 6

Do you have any questions about the company Justin?

Answer

" Just a few actually

1) How much vacation do we get?
2) How many personal days do we get?
3) How many sick days do we get?"

The funny thing is this is what most of us should actually say at job interviews, unless you are actually a really good employee.  Think about all the lies you tell during the interview process......COUNTLESS. You use words like "productive" and "efficient" and it is all BS.  Good thing I don't actually fall into this category, I get to work and I do work all damn day.

Everyone have a blessed day.

Hugs and Handpounds,

Czar

Election Results

After months and months of political ads all over your television the election is finally over.  Many are upset this morning at the outcome, Facebook status' tell the real story.  Since turning 18 I have voted Republican in every election there has been.  The problem was I never truely knew what I was voting for.  I followed the teachings of my parents and never had my own say.  14 years and 3 elections later I understand a little more, but everyday I learn something new, something that makes you think maybe it won't be that bad.  A few years ago I got into an argument with one of my best friends over politics, I truely had no idea what I was arguing and the next day I called him to apologize.  Since that day I try to stay out of every political discussion that goes on around me, instead I try and listen and learn from people.  I try and understand how the person talking would be affected or if I would be affected.  So many people get mad because someone else may have a differing view.  That is what the world is about.  Everyone is different, everyone has their own say and everyone should have voted for the person that best represents them or their family.  If you feel defeated today don't take it out on an Obama supporter, don't question how or why they voted for him, instead put a smile on your face and feel lucky you woke up this morning.  We have to put our faith in Barack for the next four years so come to grips with it, be excited about something in your life.  Take this opportunity to make your life better.  So many people are negative, I don't want that energy around me.  This morning I woke up next to my beautiful wife, I woke up my beautiful stepdaughter to get ready for school, I showered and headed to work.  It was the perfect morning. 

Just be happy, I AM.


Hugs and Handpounds,

Czar