Every year 9/11 comes around I get a little choked up, I feel a little fuzzy, I have a heavy heart, I sit down and recall that day 12 years ago like it was yesterday. It was a day that changed so many things, it was a day that Americans no longer felt free, it was a day that made us think if this could happen now it could happen again. We all remember where we were, we remember watching the news for what seemed to be 100 straight hours. America wanted and demanded answers, but at the same time we were grieving the thousands of lives lost in this senseless act of violence. For the first time we did not have the upper hand, we were vulnerable, and for what seemed like weeks America was searching for answers. Conspiracy theories flooded the web, the two political sides bashed each other, America was in denial. We watched rescue workers have total disregard for their own safety to help the wounded, we watched firefighters and police officers climb, dig, transport the injured. We watched men and women become heros. It was amazing to watch New York City come together during this catastrophic event. I don't know how they did it, I would have been frozen, I would have not been able to move after seeing the destruction, hearing the noises, and thinking about the lives that were lost. 2,996 people died that day in September. 2,996 people who were either going to work, at work, New York City tourists, locals, paramedics, fire fighters, police officers, whoever. They were taken from the world on a day that they woke up and never fathomed that any of this would happen. It was a day that seems like more of a dream than a reality. I know it seems kind of redundant but I will never forget.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Be Thankful...
In a world glamourized by celebrities, sex, drugs and lots of other bullshit people tend to forget what life is really about. Life isn't about what kind car you drive, or your designer cloths, or how much money you have in your bank account. We see this everyday, we constantly wish we had something that isn't possible. I am one of those people. I want this and I want that and the truth is it isn't in the cards. My wife and I make way with exactly what we have. We will probably never have a 5,000 sq. foot house, but we have a 1406 sq. ft house that we call our own and are very happy with. I would like nothing more than my wife to be able to drive a Range Rover, but guess what...........it isn't going to happen. Most of the people who are reading this are middle class and should be happy as hell you aren't outside of a gas station begging for change.
Think about what you are bitching about and then be thankful you are drinking bottled water and not sewage water.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Think about what you are bitching about and then be thankful you are drinking bottled water and not sewage water.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
I'm Back
Guess who is back up in this piece. ME, Justin Matthew, so sit down, buckle up and take note because I have about 1 year of frustration to take out on my keyboard. You ask me where I have been? Let me tell you, I have had a really bad case of writers block for the past year. I have felt partially slow, nervous, and most days I feel like I am in a coma. The only way I can really explain it is when you go out on a Saturday night and drink WAY too much, then all day Sunday you are tired and don't feel like talking to anyone and in-between naps and sweats and Sunday golf on NBC you take another nap and sweat some more. You know what I am saying? Like, I go to my blog, I have an idea and then I have nothing. It has been an ongoing process. Just really SLOW. I continue to crush mad amounts of soda, my weight is still strong, and by strong I mean not strong, I still get more "likes" on my Facebook status' than any of you, my wife got some ink, my stepdaughters are more beautiful than ever and school is about to start up again. My family purchased a Great Dane named Reese Witherspoon who is gaining weight about as fast as me. I still get told my wife is hot daily, the best part is when people say it, they say it in a way that is telling me she is too good looking for me. It actually happened about 12 times at my 15 year High School reunion last Friday. You know what GO TO HELL. Lets be honest they are probably right, I have a huge head with great hair and a crooked nose. That being said I must I must be doing something right. #imsexierthanyou,
#2legit2everquit, #getonmylevel.
Enough with me hatin' on myself, I have 4 topics I need to briefly discuss with all you people. Just quick insight on some of my favorite people in the world. Agree, disagree, be mad, I don't care.
Ryan Braun- Don't care, I actually hope he is using his time off to inject more steroids. Everyone in all sports is crushing steroids. You know how I know, because I know. You know who else took steroids? Roger Maris. All you baseball purists just need to understand that PEDs are as part of the game and I am all for it. I want to see someone hit 100 HRs next year. The bottom line is the cheeseburger on the pretzel bun at Ryan Brauns restaurant is amazing and that is why I will always like him.
North West- Wow, what do I say about North West. The kid has NO CHANCE in life. When she asks her mom about how she got famous do you think Kim K's response will be "S'n D"? Hey, I aint hatin' on Kim, she is pretty and she has made millions for being pretty. But she was NOT a pretty pregnant woman. She looked like her ass ate her back. Her ass started on the bottom of her neck. As for Kanye, love the guys music, but as a person he can pass away. He and Nicki Minaj can be set on fire for all I care, just as long as he can still make music. Get him a beat machine and a T-Pain microphone from Kay-Bee toys and I am all good.
Amanda Bynes- God I love her and the cant get enough of her. Her wigs, her craziness. The fact that she was smoking dope in her apartment, the cops came and she tossed the bong out of a 36th floor window. Just the makings of a disaster. If I was going to guess a date she was going to be found in her lower eastside Manhattan apartment dead I would guess November 26th 2013. She is one injection away from foaming at the mouth, it isn't funny, but it is entertaining.
Justin Bieber- The dude is crushing life and tattoos and Instagram and Selena Gomez. Selena just cant walk away from the bad boy of pop music. I will admit, I don't understand the pants the dude wears, but I want some. They are leather and droopy in butt and it looks dumb, but if the Biebs is doing it than I want to do it. How long until this dude is on celebrity rehab? I say by the time he is 25 he will be similar to Corey Heim and Cory Feldman. Either dead of a drug overdose or doing drugs and no one will remember his name. Hey Biebs......NEVER SAY NEVER. Yes, I am a 33 year old male admirer.
This is all I have time for right now, I just wanted to get back in the flow, I want to be myself again, I wanted to make people smile, shake their heads and say "you know what, Czar is right". Of course I am right, I just sometimes say things other people think. I hope all is well with the people who read my nonsense and look for more blogs in the coming weeks.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
#2legit2everquit, #getonmylevel.
Enough with me hatin' on myself, I have 4 topics I need to briefly discuss with all you people. Just quick insight on some of my favorite people in the world. Agree, disagree, be mad, I don't care.
Ryan Braun- Don't care, I actually hope he is using his time off to inject more steroids. Everyone in all sports is crushing steroids. You know how I know, because I know. You know who else took steroids? Roger Maris. All you baseball purists just need to understand that PEDs are as part of the game and I am all for it. I want to see someone hit 100 HRs next year. The bottom line is the cheeseburger on the pretzel bun at Ryan Brauns restaurant is amazing and that is why I will always like him.
North West- Wow, what do I say about North West. The kid has NO CHANCE in life. When she asks her mom about how she got famous do you think Kim K's response will be "S'n D"? Hey, I aint hatin' on Kim, she is pretty and she has made millions for being pretty. But she was NOT a pretty pregnant woman. She looked like her ass ate her back. Her ass started on the bottom of her neck. As for Kanye, love the guys music, but as a person he can pass away. He and Nicki Minaj can be set on fire for all I care, just as long as he can still make music. Get him a beat machine and a T-Pain microphone from Kay-Bee toys and I am all good.
Amanda Bynes- God I love her and the cant get enough of her. Her wigs, her craziness. The fact that she was smoking dope in her apartment, the cops came and she tossed the bong out of a 36th floor window. Just the makings of a disaster. If I was going to guess a date she was going to be found in her lower eastside Manhattan apartment dead I would guess November 26th 2013. She is one injection away from foaming at the mouth, it isn't funny, but it is entertaining.
Justin Bieber- The dude is crushing life and tattoos and Instagram and Selena Gomez. Selena just cant walk away from the bad boy of pop music. I will admit, I don't understand the pants the dude wears, but I want some. They are leather and droopy in butt and it looks dumb, but if the Biebs is doing it than I want to do it. How long until this dude is on celebrity rehab? I say by the time he is 25 he will be similar to Corey Heim and Cory Feldman. Either dead of a drug overdose or doing drugs and no one will remember his name. Hey Biebs......NEVER SAY NEVER. Yes, I am a 33 year old male admirer.
This is all I have time for right now, I just wanted to get back in the flow, I want to be myself again, I wanted to make people smile, shake their heads and say "you know what, Czar is right". Of course I am right, I just sometimes say things other people think. I hope all is well with the people who read my nonsense and look for more blogs in the coming weeks.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Thursday, January 10, 2013
5 New Years Resolutions.....
I am telling you these New Years resolutions are some son-of-a-bitches. I set 5 attainable goals/resolutions for 2013 and 10 days 12 hours and 45 minutes into 2013 I have already broken two of them. For those of you who don't know what my resolutions were let me start by sharing them with you.
1) Be more organized.
2) Dress nice daily.
3) Be nicer to my wife.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st.
5) Spend more time with my step daughters.
1) Organization- that went out the shitter January 2nd when I couldn't find my GD keys at 730am to go to work. Right now my work desk is covered with post-it notes that are 3 days old, my bedroom looks like a Tsunami hit it, so I throw everything into the closet and close the door. Out of sight out of mind right? Until you are looking for something to wear, you know, the one time in your life you are looking for the specific piece of clothing that has been balled up and piled into the heaping clump of cloths in the back of your closet. Now after swearing 1,000 times and making an even bigger mess you finally found it..............and of course there there are more wrinkles in it than any dry cleaner could possibly handle at 6pm on a Saturday night. At that point you finally scream, throw a tantrum and tell your significant other "you can go out without me".
The point of that rant was simple, organization saves you more than you ever know, not only time, but also money and effort, heartache, pain and murderous rage.
2) Dressing nice daily- I told my wife that I want to at least where a nice pair of jeans and a collared shirt everyday to work. On the weekends I wanted to shower and if we were going out in public I wanted to do the same. I will tell you what, I love me a pair of sweats and a hoody and tonight I will post a picture of my bedtime sweats to show you what kind of slob I am, but people who look nice all the time have something going for them and I wanted to be one of those people.
On January 9th, 2013 I wore an Addidas hoody to work that has a small food stain on it. I failed, I f'n failed. That being said I was down in the dumps yesterday and today I came back hard with a North Face Fleece. I am a joke.
3) Be nicer to my wife- Most of you reading this know me, you know I like to ruffle feathers. You say something that pisses me off I will say something way worse with the intentions of making you cry. My wife ain't no joke, she doesn't hold anything back, you know the type of people who want to say something, but don't? Yeah, that isn't Jess. So I am learning on the fly how to just shut my big mouth and continue on with my day. Every relationship has drama, if you are on Facebook telling everyone how "perfect" everything is you probably actually hate your dude or girl and this is your way of telling yourself everything is just great. Every relationship needs a good fight every so often, as unhealthy as it sounds I actually think it is healthy. So in order to be nicer to my wife I am learning how just let her vent without saying anything back, then she usually questions if I am listening to her. I am listening Jess, I swear. When I don't talk I am actually being nicer. See goal #3 is no problem. EASY.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st- Look, I have been hefty my whole life, over the past 1.5 years I have dropped nearly 50 lbs to go from hefty to stocky. I have also realized that after years of making unattainable New Years resolutions about losing weight that making a goal that can actually be achieved is the best thing to do. Yes, we all have a desired weight that we wish we could be, but believe me as a dude who has struggled with his weight my entire life you are setting yourself up for failure and that is just a blow to your mind and heart. I will guarentee everyone reading this that I will lose 15 lbs by April 1st. No doubt in my mind, I am also going to enjoy my life while doing it. BABY STEPS!
5) Spend more time with my stepdaughters- Two of the most beautiful girls in the world that truely don't have to listen to a word I say, but basically do everything I ask. Well Lillian has trouble cleaning her room, but so do I. If that is the worst thing than I think I am truely blessed by this situation. Britt is a high schooler who I see for about 30 minutes per night because she is busy being a teenager and doesn't want to hang around Jess and I. She is an awesome student and one of the most well mannered 14 year olds I have ever met. Lillian as many of you know is a ball of energy, but she makes me laugh everyday with the things she says and does. She usually goes to clean her room after the 5th time asking, but then when we go look she is making some sort of arts and crafts. Whatever, she is 6. This is a resolution that Britt will be thrilled about when I tell her we are going to do something she doesn't want to do. Lillian on the other hand just wants to do anything at anytime. She has recently taken a liking to Dateline so we can watch that together. I look forward to attaining this resolution. It is part of being the best stepfather I can be. My main goal is that when both of these girls are adults they don't call me a BAD stepdad. Even though sometimes I am a real dickhead.
Those are my resolutions, so far I have broken 2 of them, has anyone ever stuck to a New Years resolution for a full year? If so FU.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
1) Be more organized.
2) Dress nice daily.
3) Be nicer to my wife.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st.
5) Spend more time with my step daughters.
1) Organization- that went out the shitter January 2nd when I couldn't find my GD keys at 730am to go to work. Right now my work desk is covered with post-it notes that are 3 days old, my bedroom looks like a Tsunami hit it, so I throw everything into the closet and close the door. Out of sight out of mind right? Until you are looking for something to wear, you know, the one time in your life you are looking for the specific piece of clothing that has been balled up and piled into the heaping clump of cloths in the back of your closet. Now after swearing 1,000 times and making an even bigger mess you finally found it..............and of course there there are more wrinkles in it than any dry cleaner could possibly handle at 6pm on a Saturday night. At that point you finally scream, throw a tantrum and tell your significant other "you can go out without me".
The point of that rant was simple, organization saves you more than you ever know, not only time, but also money and effort, heartache, pain and murderous rage.
2) Dressing nice daily- I told my wife that I want to at least where a nice pair of jeans and a collared shirt everyday to work. On the weekends I wanted to shower and if we were going out in public I wanted to do the same. I will tell you what, I love me a pair of sweats and a hoody and tonight I will post a picture of my bedtime sweats to show you what kind of slob I am, but people who look nice all the time have something going for them and I wanted to be one of those people.
On January 9th, 2013 I wore an Addidas hoody to work that has a small food stain on it. I failed, I f'n failed. That being said I was down in the dumps yesterday and today I came back hard with a North Face Fleece. I am a joke.
3) Be nicer to my wife- Most of you reading this know me, you know I like to ruffle feathers. You say something that pisses me off I will say something way worse with the intentions of making you cry. My wife ain't no joke, she doesn't hold anything back, you know the type of people who want to say something, but don't? Yeah, that isn't Jess. So I am learning on the fly how to just shut my big mouth and continue on with my day. Every relationship has drama, if you are on Facebook telling everyone how "perfect" everything is you probably actually hate your dude or girl and this is your way of telling yourself everything is just great. Every relationship needs a good fight every so often, as unhealthy as it sounds I actually think it is healthy. So in order to be nicer to my wife I am learning how just let her vent without saying anything back, then she usually questions if I am listening to her. I am listening Jess, I swear. When I don't talk I am actually being nicer. See goal #3 is no problem. EASY.
4) Lose 15 lbs by April 1st- Look, I have been hefty my whole life, over the past 1.5 years I have dropped nearly 50 lbs to go from hefty to stocky. I have also realized that after years of making unattainable New Years resolutions about losing weight that making a goal that can actually be achieved is the best thing to do. Yes, we all have a desired weight that we wish we could be, but believe me as a dude who has struggled with his weight my entire life you are setting yourself up for failure and that is just a blow to your mind and heart. I will guarentee everyone reading this that I will lose 15 lbs by April 1st. No doubt in my mind, I am also going to enjoy my life while doing it. BABY STEPS!
5) Spend more time with my stepdaughters- Two of the most beautiful girls in the world that truely don't have to listen to a word I say, but basically do everything I ask. Well Lillian has trouble cleaning her room, but so do I. If that is the worst thing than I think I am truely blessed by this situation. Britt is a high schooler who I see for about 30 minutes per night because she is busy being a teenager and doesn't want to hang around Jess and I. She is an awesome student and one of the most well mannered 14 year olds I have ever met. Lillian as many of you know is a ball of energy, but she makes me laugh everyday with the things she says and does. She usually goes to clean her room after the 5th time asking, but then when we go look she is making some sort of arts and crafts. Whatever, she is 6. This is a resolution that Britt will be thrilled about when I tell her we are going to do something she doesn't want to do. Lillian on the other hand just wants to do anything at anytime. She has recently taken a liking to Dateline so we can watch that together. I look forward to attaining this resolution. It is part of being the best stepfather I can be. My main goal is that when both of these girls are adults they don't call me a BAD stepdad. Even though sometimes I am a real dickhead.
Those are my resolutions, so far I have broken 2 of them, has anyone ever stuck to a New Years resolution for a full year? If so FU.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)