This weekend my lovely wife and I had the privelage to attend one of my best friends wedding receptions. It was a glorious two day event that included a beautiful couple, beautiful family and friends, drinking, eating, laughter and Toppers. Being at a wedding and the help from a friend gave me the idea for this blog. When attending a wedding you never know what you are going to get, whether it is corny dance music, a boring crowd, lousy wedding food blah blah blah. The bottom line is the night takes a ton of planning and organization and no matter what someone is going to bitch about something. With that being said when going to a wedding you always have a few individuals who make the wedding 100 times better. Today I am going to to give you my list of 3 people that absolutely no wedding can live without.
1) The dancing whore/slut- this person tends to be a girl who doesn't have a date, but is bound and determined to make people remember her. This girl is usually drinking vodka before the wedding, during appetizers, dinner, dessert, the father/daughter dance and so on. She is also usually the first girl to drop a glass and then tell everyone "I'm soooooooo sorry, that is only my first drink". Once the music switches from the chicken dance to hip hop this girl is usually the one screaming "ohhhhhhhh this my jam", while putting one hand in the air and the other hand is being occupied by a glass of vodka. At some point this chick just decides it is go time, she begins grinding on every dude on the dance floor causing widespread panic amongst people/family watching. Her dress is all over the place, her ass is hanging out and someone has to tell her to knock it off and go have some water. When she wakes up in the morning she looks like a confused mess, feels like a mess, is wondering where her dress and jewelry is and the first words out of her mouth are "I don't remember a thing".
2) Drunk Groomsman- this guy is determined to lead the charge. He wants to make sure everyone is having the time of their lives. He is the guy who demands to drink before entering the church and usually has 2 beers in his hands at all times during the pictures. He refuses to follow any directions including those coming from the priest or the photographer. This guy wants to make sure that he goes hard. At some point during the reception he will have his dress shirt and tie off, but he will be wearing just his vest. His favorite dance move is the fist pump and he is usually groping any girl he can. The best part of this guy is he doesn't want to give up after the reception, he is the one screaming "what bar are we going to". When this guy wakes up in the morning he doesn't ever know where he is, how he got there, but the only thing he needs is a drink. He has one beer to be a tough guy and then he sleeps for the rest of the day.
3) The complainer- this is usually an older lady who just likes to complain because her life is actually miserable. So she gets dressed up in the same clothes that she wears to every wedding, doesn't drink alcohol, sits at a table by herself looking every single person up and down. Her favorite question to ask passer-byers is "how was your dinner, mine was cold and just not good". She comments to every person about certain peoples clothes, they type of music being played and how she can't believe how much kids drink these days. Her husband stays away from her because he actually can't stand her and wants to enjoy himself. At 9:30pm she is ready to go and her husband just says "FINE" because he has done whatever she says for the last 31 years. No need to stop now. Now you may not ever notice her in the crowd, but just remember she is at every wedding.
Other people you always see at a wedding include:
- Old guy with killer dance moves
- The underdressed family
- The dancing 2 year old
- The cryer
Look at the three people I have listed above and tell me you don't know exactly what I am talking about. These people are a staple at a weddings. Think about the last few weddings you have been to and you can pick these people out right away.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Monday, August 27, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Hottest Dudes Out There.
My wife calls me gay about 6 times per day, not to be rude, not to use a slur, but because she actually thinks I am gay. My wife and I recently watched The Vow and the scene where Channing took his shirt off my response was "YEEEESSSSSSS". I am not afraid to admit when a man is good looking, has a bangin' bod, good skin, great hair, or a wonderful closet of clothes. Some guys just have the total package and it just isnt fair. With that being said we are a world that judges everything and everybody and the best part of it people have their own opinions. I want to share with you my opinon on the 3 hottest dudes in the world. Agree, disagree, argue with me, I don't care, I am entitled to my opinion. This is in no particular order, in fact the top 3 can rotate at anytime depending on when I see them on tv, in a magazine or on the red carpet.
HERE WE GO....................
Justin Timberlake- the guy flat out gets it done, dresses awesome, can sing his heart out, humerous, knowledgable about sports, although I don't know for sure he just looks like he would always smell good. I will be honest, I think his acting is like watching an abortion, but the good part is viewers still get to look at him. Another thing about him is he knows Joey Fattone, when Fattone is running in your cirlce you know life is good.
David Beckham- hair, tattoos, 39 pack, structured jaw line hand chisled by God himself. The funny thing about Beckham is I don't think I have ever heard him talk. Is he mute? I am sure Posh and his 4 dickhead children who only wear name brand clothing run his life, but after soccer games he is out SLAYING D and wrecking random womens lives.
Matthew Mcconaughey- Maybe getting a little older but his accent and body hasn't changed. JEEESH. I don't care if he doesn't wear deoderant and only runs on the beach with his shirt off. I would also if I looked like him. You can't tell me he is faithful to his Brazillian supermodel wife. I don't buy it. You know what, his wife probably knows he cheats and doesn't care, that is how hot he is.
Like I said we all have opinions, but right now this is my top 3. You can go any way with it you want. You may laugh at my pick of Matthew Mcconaughey, but then I will laugh at you right back. I can't wait to hear all of your opinions. If you are a dude reading this and you think it is weird that I am judging what a dude looks like it just means you are not ok with your sexuality. That's all.
Everyone have a great weekend.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
HERE WE GO....................
Justin Timberlake- the guy flat out gets it done, dresses awesome, can sing his heart out, humerous, knowledgable about sports, although I don't know for sure he just looks like he would always smell good. I will be honest, I think his acting is like watching an abortion, but the good part is viewers still get to look at him. Another thing about him is he knows Joey Fattone, when Fattone is running in your cirlce you know life is good.
David Beckham- hair, tattoos, 39 pack, structured jaw line hand chisled by God himself. The funny thing about Beckham is I don't think I have ever heard him talk. Is he mute? I am sure Posh and his 4 dickhead children who only wear name brand clothing run his life, but after soccer games he is out SLAYING D and wrecking random womens lives.
Matthew Mcconaughey- Maybe getting a little older but his accent and body hasn't changed. JEEESH. I don't care if he doesn't wear deoderant and only runs on the beach with his shirt off. I would also if I looked like him. You can't tell me he is faithful to his Brazillian supermodel wife. I don't buy it. You know what, his wife probably knows he cheats and doesn't care, that is how hot he is.
Like I said we all have opinions, but right now this is my top 3. You can go any way with it you want. You may laugh at my pick of Matthew Mcconaughey, but then I will laugh at you right back. I can't wait to hear all of your opinions. If you are a dude reading this and you think it is weird that I am judging what a dude looks like it just means you are not ok with your sexuality. That's all.
Everyone have a great weekend.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Parenting Questions on Facebook
I know it seems like I bitch a lot about other people on my blog, you are right, I do and you continue to come back and read because I say things you are thinking. Over the past few blog entries I have been bitching about things I see on Facebook or Facebook status'. Recently I have seen an abundance of mothers asking for for "suggestions" on how they should do something with their child. It looks something like this "recently my baby won't stay attached to my nipple while feeding, any suggestions on what I should do"?
My suggestion is simple....never ask anyone on Facebook how to parent your child. Every kid is different and your ass needs to figure out something that works. I don't want to waste my time telling you to put your nipple at a 45 degree angle so little Jacob can get the proper flow. That ain't my duty. Read a book, call your mom, don't ask Facebook how to parent your kid, it makes you look bad.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
My suggestion is simple....never ask anyone on Facebook how to parent your child. Every kid is different and your ass needs to figure out something that works. I don't want to waste my time telling you to put your nipple at a 45 degree angle so little Jacob can get the proper flow. That ain't my duty. Read a book, call your mom, don't ask Facebook how to parent your kid, it makes you look bad.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Pictures of Yourself you Took Yourself
Some things really bug me, get under my skin and drive me crazy. Those things include when people don't let me finish my sentence, when people don't know how the Subway line works and last but not least when middle-aged people take pictures of themselves in the mirror or in their car and post them to a social media site. What do you want from doing this? We all know you are doing it because you think you look hot, is there any other reason to do it? The best part is I am sure the person posting is refreshing their Facebook page every 6 seconds to see who commented and to get a quick self esteem boost. Look, I get it if you are in middle school or high school and looking for attention, but if you are 25 or older this should be a no no.
The fact is as soon as I see a picture posted like this I am texting someone to say "did you see so and so's picture he/she just posted....wtf are they doing". If you think I am the only person doing this you are sadly mistaken. Everyone is talking about you, maybe that is what you want, but it is a BAD look. You look like an idiot who is craving the attention you are not getting at home. Instead of giving me the duck face why don't you ask your mom or dad if they want to hangout. Parents will give you the attention you desire.
Dudes- I will admit I don't go shirtless EVER because, WELL, because it simply isn't a good look and I don't want people to get sick. The good thing is I realize this. I just really have a problem with dudes who take photos of their abs, or flexing in the mirror and posting it to a social media site. Go ahead, call me jealous, you may be right, but while you call me jealous I am going to call you a DOUCHEBAG and so is everyone else except people who wear Ed Hardy still. What do you want from this, people to comment "hot abs dude". My guess is you post pictures because you feel the pressure around girls when you are out. You probably stand in the back of the bar with your Affliction shirt on and embroidered, sparkly jeans looking like a douche. Put on a fuckin hoody and a hat and post the picture of you and some friends drinking some beers and enjoying life.
Girls- Duck face....NO......Bikini shots in the mirror taken by yourself.....NO. I don't f'n care if you are a God damn super model you look like a whore. "HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, LOOK I AM WEARING A BIKINI AND POSING SEXY IN THE MIRROR BECAUSE I AM AN ATENTION SEEKING SLUT". Everything I just said can be thrown out the window if someone else takes the picture, if I see you holding a phone and taking the picture everything I said above still stands. Say whatever you want, plead your case, tell me why you took a picture of yourself and posted it on Facebook. I WILL CALL YOU A LIAR.
I understand people like attention, I love it, but I love it for different reasons. When I have peoples attention it is usually because I am trying to make them laugh and enjoy their day. It isn't because I haven't eaten a carb for 8 years and now I have abs and I want to show you a picture. Kudos to those people who take care of themselves, I have nothing but love for you, but we all know you look nice shirtless or in a bikini. Try getting attention another way like driving your car directly off the Hoan Bridge.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
The fact is as soon as I see a picture posted like this I am texting someone to say "did you see so and so's picture he/she just posted....wtf are they doing". If you think I am the only person doing this you are sadly mistaken. Everyone is talking about you, maybe that is what you want, but it is a BAD look. You look like an idiot who is craving the attention you are not getting at home. Instead of giving me the duck face why don't you ask your mom or dad if they want to hangout. Parents will give you the attention you desire.
Dudes- I will admit I don't go shirtless EVER because, WELL, because it simply isn't a good look and I don't want people to get sick. The good thing is I realize this. I just really have a problem with dudes who take photos of their abs, or flexing in the mirror and posting it to a social media site. Go ahead, call me jealous, you may be right, but while you call me jealous I am going to call you a DOUCHEBAG and so is everyone else except people who wear Ed Hardy still. What do you want from this, people to comment "hot abs dude". My guess is you post pictures because you feel the pressure around girls when you are out. You probably stand in the back of the bar with your Affliction shirt on and embroidered, sparkly jeans looking like a douche. Put on a fuckin hoody and a hat and post the picture of you and some friends drinking some beers and enjoying life.
Girls- Duck face....NO......Bikini shots in the mirror taken by yourself.....NO. I don't f'n care if you are a God damn super model you look like a whore. "HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, LOOK I AM WEARING A BIKINI AND POSING SEXY IN THE MIRROR BECAUSE I AM AN ATENTION SEEKING SLUT". Everything I just said can be thrown out the window if someone else takes the picture, if I see you holding a phone and taking the picture everything I said above still stands. Say whatever you want, plead your case, tell me why you took a picture of yourself and posted it on Facebook. I WILL CALL YOU A LIAR.
I understand people like attention, I love it, but I love it for different reasons. When I have peoples attention it is usually because I am trying to make them laugh and enjoy their day. It isn't because I haven't eaten a carb for 8 years and now I have abs and I want to show you a picture. Kudos to those people who take care of themselves, I have nothing but love for you, but we all know you look nice shirtless or in a bikini. Try getting attention another way like driving your car directly off the Hoan Bridge.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Things I Don't Know How to Do.
Never claimed to be a mans man, in fact I am the exact opposite of that. I am suprised my wife actually stays with me. As far as doing handyman/mans man work I am a joke. I don't really know how to hold a hammer, or use a shovel, or really anything else. I do know how to pay to get things done however. I want to change this, I want my wife to say "hey Justin, could you hang this picture for me" and the answer to be "Yes". Unfortunately right now I wouldn't know how to hang a picture. I am good at being a friend, remembering sports stats, and drinking. That doesn't help me though. My dad has shook his head at me many times in disgust. Today I am going to share with you a list of things I CANNOT DO. Remember I am a 32 year old male who grew up with a father who could do everything my mom asked. HERE WE GO......
1) Change my oil.
2) Hook up a VCR.
3) Hang a picture.
4) Check the air pressure in my tires
5) Set up wireless TV.
6) Grill anything. I have never flipped a burger on a grill in my life.
7) Put together anything, desks, shelving units, basically anything with an instruction manuel.
8) Kill spiders, centipedes or get anywhere near a mouse.
9) Anything electrical besides put a plug in or out.
10) Painting, it seems easy but I am terrible at it. Tons of streaks, missed spots.
11) Hanging a fixture.
12) Figuring out why something doesn't work.
13) Unplugging the toilet. Seriously, my wife does this.
14) I refuse to step foot on a ladder.
15) Putting sheets on a bed, I don't know why I just can't do it. Not manly at all, but I can't do it.
This was a list of 15 that I came up with in 5 minutes. I am worthless. Bob Vila would hate my ass. Hell, I hate my ass. Is there any hope for me? At 32 I should be able to do everything listed above. No worries though I still have good hair and my wife loves me. I think. Sometimes I just shake my head at myself. One word comes to mind. Pathetic.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
1) Change my oil.
2) Hook up a VCR.
3) Hang a picture.
4) Check the air pressure in my tires
5) Set up wireless TV.
6) Grill anything. I have never flipped a burger on a grill in my life.
7) Put together anything, desks, shelving units, basically anything with an instruction manuel.
8) Kill spiders, centipedes or get anywhere near a mouse.
9) Anything electrical besides put a plug in or out.
10) Painting, it seems easy but I am terrible at it. Tons of streaks, missed spots.
11) Hanging a fixture.
12) Figuring out why something doesn't work.
13) Unplugging the toilet. Seriously, my wife does this.
14) I refuse to step foot on a ladder.
15) Putting sheets on a bed, I don't know why I just can't do it. Not manly at all, but I can't do it.
This was a list of 15 that I came up with in 5 minutes. I am worthless. Bob Vila would hate my ass. Hell, I hate my ass. Is there any hope for me? At 32 I should be able to do everything listed above. No worries though I still have good hair and my wife loves me. I think. Sometimes I just shake my head at myself. One word comes to mind. Pathetic.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
My Take On Politics
Lies, deceit, scandal, BJs, blah blah blah it is all we ever hear about when talking about politics. You ask a politician a question you hear the same bullshit answer. Look, the United States is like 84 fijillion dollars in debt that shit ain't going away or going to get brushed under a rug. The funny thing is that Republican supporters believe that Romney and Ryan are just going to come into office and make shit happen. They are going to erase the deficit, they are going to create more jobs, they are going to wipe the asses of big business'......you know what I believe, none of that shit. Obama supporters believe that he has come into office and made some headway, things are turning around, there are more jobs. You want to know how much of this I believe, none of that shit. The numbers are so skewed on both sides that it is funny that anyone believes anything. How is it that there are like 7,000 different ways to find out if there are more or less jobs? Shouldn't that be simple math? Adding and subtracting? I use to be Mr. Republican and not even know what I was talking about, as I have grown up and have actually been involved in intelligent conversations I have learned a few things. What I have learned the most is I should just STFU. If you are going to add nothing to a conversation don't pretend to know what you are talking about. People have differing views, why would I think I am going to change someones mind. I don't give a shit how you vote, all I want to do is get drunk with you and talk about sports or what kind of porn you like. The people that really irritate me are the people on Facebook who think by writing a status ranting about how good or bad someone is it will change someones mind. Guess what, people don't give a shit about who you are voting for, you going ahead and do your thing and I am gonna do mine. I don't care what Mitt says he is gonna do, you wanna know why.....because Mitts ass is lying, Paul Ryan is a liar, Obama is a liar, and Joe Biden......is Joe Biden still alive?
Look, I am a confused individual, I don't know if I am Democrat or Republican, half the day I don't even know where I am. Here is how I am going to figure out what I am. I googled "Republican vs. Democrat" to see what separated the two sides. Here is what it told me. I am going to breakdown my thoughts on each issue for the world to see.
Economic Ideas- No matter what my ass is gonna get taxed. I got like $38 in checking. I say just print more money, give everyone like 10 million dollars and lets make it rain. Do whatever you want with that 10 mil, go to Poto, get some rims, buy a house....whatever you do that is all you are getting. Spend wisely.
Military Issues- Any country that F's with us just blow it up. How simple is that. Osamas ass didn't have any remorse for flying planes into the World trade Centers, I wouldn't have any remorse for watching people blow up into 1 million pieces. hell, put it on TV at 7pm on a Friday night, I will get a forty and watch people burn. Too much? I don't care.
Death Penalty- Simple, you kill someone with the intent to kill someone you should die. I actually think that the family of the deceased should get to set you on fire. No remorse for murderers.
Abortion- I am Pro Life.......until it happens to me. Then everything changes.
Stance on gay marriage- When I was growing up I always wanted to be cool and follow the cool kids and I truely didn't understand being gay. Well, I have grown up. Whether it is a choice or you are born that way I don't give a shit. I believe that everyone should have the right to be happy. Why should society be allowed to take that right away from a person. Plus I need some fashion tips.
These are just 4 very basic questions I answered when trying to figure out exactly where I stand. Guess what, I found out nothing because it is impossible for me to be serious.
The fact is, I try to find humor in things from politics to death to car accidents and maybe this will ruffle some feathers of the people who are super into politics. I DON'T CARE. You are being lied to, misinformed by greasey ass dudes who tell you exactly what you want to here. No matter who wins this years election I am still going to live my life, spend too much money on weekends and love my family. You can choose to do exactly what you want or vote for whoever you want, but I want you to think about my suggestion.
WRITE IN VOTE........GEORGE W. BUSH....he is still getting blamed for everything anyways.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Look, I am a confused individual, I don't know if I am Democrat or Republican, half the day I don't even know where I am. Here is how I am going to figure out what I am. I googled "Republican vs. Democrat" to see what separated the two sides. Here is what it told me. I am going to breakdown my thoughts on each issue for the world to see.
Economic Ideas- No matter what my ass is gonna get taxed. I got like $38 in checking. I say just print more money, give everyone like 10 million dollars and lets make it rain. Do whatever you want with that 10 mil, go to Poto, get some rims, buy a house....whatever you do that is all you are getting. Spend wisely.
Military Issues- Any country that F's with us just blow it up. How simple is that. Osamas ass didn't have any remorse for flying planes into the World trade Centers, I wouldn't have any remorse for watching people blow up into 1 million pieces. hell, put it on TV at 7pm on a Friday night, I will get a forty and watch people burn. Too much? I don't care.
Death Penalty- Simple, you kill someone with the intent to kill someone you should die. I actually think that the family of the deceased should get to set you on fire. No remorse for murderers.
Abortion- I am Pro Life.......until it happens to me. Then everything changes.
Stance on gay marriage- When I was growing up I always wanted to be cool and follow the cool kids and I truely didn't understand being gay. Well, I have grown up. Whether it is a choice or you are born that way I don't give a shit. I believe that everyone should have the right to be happy. Why should society be allowed to take that right away from a person. Plus I need some fashion tips.
These are just 4 very basic questions I answered when trying to figure out exactly where I stand. Guess what, I found out nothing because it is impossible for me to be serious.
The fact is, I try to find humor in things from politics to death to car accidents and maybe this will ruffle some feathers of the people who are super into politics. I DON'T CARE. You are being lied to, misinformed by greasey ass dudes who tell you exactly what you want to here. No matter who wins this years election I am still going to live my life, spend too much money on weekends and love my family. You can choose to do exactly what you want or vote for whoever you want, but I want you to think about my suggestion.
WRITE IN VOTE........GEORGE W. BUSH....he is still getting blamed for everything anyways.
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Monday, August 13, 2012
Weekend Spending
Weekends come and go faster than you can blink. One minute it is Friday night and I am headed home from work and the next minute it is Sunday night and I am watching Step Brothers on FX for the 8th week in a row. That is not the basis of this blog however, this blog is to show you how impossible it is to stick to a budget. In my mind I am the best budgetor in the entire world. I know bills going out, money coming in.....but more importantly my wife and I know how to have a good time according to our bank account Monday morning. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSHHHHHH. I am going to walk you through a basic weekend of spending for the Czarnecki family.
Friday night after work my wife wanted to meet me at the Varsity Club after work, she brought her car, I brought mine, it was almost like a date which was kind of cool. I walked in, gave her a kiss, sat down to see that she was already about 4 sips into her Red Bull and vodka, I ordered a draft of Miller Lite and we began talking about our day. We both decided that we could go for a pizza so we order the large sausage, mushroom and onion pizza and for an appetizer we order motzerella sticks. We continue talking, I have about 3 more beers and she orders one more cocktail. When it was all said and done our first bill of the weekend was right around $50.00.
While we were eating I was receiving texts from Jessicas daughter about dinner, she was with her friends and wanted to know if they could go to Old Country Buffet, to which I asked if she had any money. Her response was "No", my response back was "go make some food at home then". Jess and I return home to see her daughter and two friends looking through the cabinets for food. The thing was they really wanted Jimmy Johns. Jess then handed her daughter over $30.00 for Jimmy Johns for her and her two friends. I thought it was a nice gesture although I dont think either of her friends said thank you. That pissed me off.
Sooooooo Jess and I get ready and go to Rays and Dots where we are meeting some friends for a drink or two before we relocate for the night to Village Days in Greendale. Jess has a Red Bull and Vodka, I have a draft of Modelo and also order a couple beers for our friends. We leave Ray and Dots 45 minutes later spending only $18.00.
It is now about 9pm and we have spent $98.00.
We walk to Village Days in Greendale which is basically summed up by a beer tent and a band singing Usher and Lady Gaga. Beers are going for $3.50 a piece and I am ready to make it rain. Jess and her girlfriend go order the first round, not sure who paid and the night begins. The rest of the night we bought rounds, our friends bought rounds blah blah blah. About half way through the night I noticed that I knew one of the dudes serving beers in the tent, from that point on the only thing I spent money on was tipping.
Waking up in the morning was fine, no headache to speak of, Jess felt great and the sun was shining. Jess went through her purse I went through my wallet and I didnt even have a quarter. She also was coming up empty meaning that the $200.00 that was taken out for the entire weekend was spent in a 7 hour period.
Lets move into Saturday shall we.....Jess has a hair appointment at 11:30am which will probably cost somewhere between $130-$160. I actually don't want to know so I won't even ask. I sit in bed thinking to myself well I want to do something during her hair appointment. I wanted some "me time". This is what my "me time" consisted of. I went to the dry cleaners and spent $37.00. I went to go see a movie by myself $7.50 for the ticket, $9.00 at the concession stand. I got a soda and some Reeses Pieces and it was $9.00. After the movie I notice that the sun is shining and I really wanted to buy some sunglasses. I have wanted them for a few months now and decided that there was no better time than now to spend $126.00 on sunglasses, so that is exactly what I did. By 1pm on saturday afternoon I am into our checking account for $180.00 and that isn't even adding in Jess' hair did. Lets just say that Jessicas hair costed $130.00 that puts us at $310.00 at 1:30pm on Saturday afternoon.
Now it is time to get ready and go to State Fair for the afternoon. We bought 2 tickets from some random dude on the street for $16.00. We get in and Jess wants a corndog $5.00 and I want a beer. While I am getting a beer Jess says "while you are it get me a Mikes Hard Lemonade".....$11.25. We walk around for a little bit making fun of the people and I get another beer $5.25. At this point I get a text from my friend Phillip Hansen telling us that he is by a bar with his fiance. Jess and I scoot on over there. We order drinks for us and them and luckily they take credit cards because I didn't want to spend any more cash. 4 beers cost me a measley $21.00. As I am standing there talking to my friend I realize I still owed him $40.00 from his bachelor party the weekend before. I ask Jess if she has any cash left and she does, she has exactly $40.00. We hand that over to PJ so there are no hard feelings. Now we don't have any cash left and it is 6pm in the late afternoon. At this point we have now spent $100.00 at State Fair with the $40.00 I owed Phillip. Phil and Andrea bought the next round and we took off to another beer tent. On the way to the beer tent Jess saw an ATM and took out another $100.00 and was charged a $3.00 fee.
We get to the beer tent and I am ready to have some fun, to make a really long story short I bought a few rounds, Phil bought a few rounds, my boss bought a few rounds and I have probably put another $80.00 on my credit card by the time Phil and Andrea needed to head out. After Phil and Andrea leave it is now time for Jess and I to get down and eat some food.
Here is what we had:
Corndog
Gyros
Nachos
Cheese Curds
Brat
And another Corn dog
The next morning Jess has $30.00 left from the $100.00 she took out. I spent $80.00 on my credit card. Grand total at State Fair $250.00.
Grand total Friday = $200.00
Grand total Saturday = $560.00
$760.00 later and all we have to show for it is a pair of sunglasses and Jess' new bangs.
Can anyone say they spent more this weekend?
The best part about it is that Friday afternoon Jess emailed me and said "should I take out $100.00 for the weekend".
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
Friday night after work my wife wanted to meet me at the Varsity Club after work, she brought her car, I brought mine, it was almost like a date which was kind of cool. I walked in, gave her a kiss, sat down to see that she was already about 4 sips into her Red Bull and vodka, I ordered a draft of Miller Lite and we began talking about our day. We both decided that we could go for a pizza so we order the large sausage, mushroom and onion pizza and for an appetizer we order motzerella sticks. We continue talking, I have about 3 more beers and she orders one more cocktail. When it was all said and done our first bill of the weekend was right around $50.00.
While we were eating I was receiving texts from Jessicas daughter about dinner, she was with her friends and wanted to know if they could go to Old Country Buffet, to which I asked if she had any money. Her response was "No", my response back was "go make some food at home then". Jess and I return home to see her daughter and two friends looking through the cabinets for food. The thing was they really wanted Jimmy Johns. Jess then handed her daughter over $30.00 for Jimmy Johns for her and her two friends. I thought it was a nice gesture although I dont think either of her friends said thank you. That pissed me off.
Sooooooo Jess and I get ready and go to Rays and Dots where we are meeting some friends for a drink or two before we relocate for the night to Village Days in Greendale. Jess has a Red Bull and Vodka, I have a draft of Modelo and also order a couple beers for our friends. We leave Ray and Dots 45 minutes later spending only $18.00.
It is now about 9pm and we have spent $98.00.
We walk to Village Days in Greendale which is basically summed up by a beer tent and a band singing Usher and Lady Gaga. Beers are going for $3.50 a piece and I am ready to make it rain. Jess and her girlfriend go order the first round, not sure who paid and the night begins. The rest of the night we bought rounds, our friends bought rounds blah blah blah. About half way through the night I noticed that I knew one of the dudes serving beers in the tent, from that point on the only thing I spent money on was tipping.
Waking up in the morning was fine, no headache to speak of, Jess felt great and the sun was shining. Jess went through her purse I went through my wallet and I didnt even have a quarter. She also was coming up empty meaning that the $200.00 that was taken out for the entire weekend was spent in a 7 hour period.
Lets move into Saturday shall we.....Jess has a hair appointment at 11:30am which will probably cost somewhere between $130-$160. I actually don't want to know so I won't even ask. I sit in bed thinking to myself well I want to do something during her hair appointment. I wanted some "me time". This is what my "me time" consisted of. I went to the dry cleaners and spent $37.00. I went to go see a movie by myself $7.50 for the ticket, $9.00 at the concession stand. I got a soda and some Reeses Pieces and it was $9.00. After the movie I notice that the sun is shining and I really wanted to buy some sunglasses. I have wanted them for a few months now and decided that there was no better time than now to spend $126.00 on sunglasses, so that is exactly what I did. By 1pm on saturday afternoon I am into our checking account for $180.00 and that isn't even adding in Jess' hair did. Lets just say that Jessicas hair costed $130.00 that puts us at $310.00 at 1:30pm on Saturday afternoon.
Now it is time to get ready and go to State Fair for the afternoon. We bought 2 tickets from some random dude on the street for $16.00. We get in and Jess wants a corndog $5.00 and I want a beer. While I am getting a beer Jess says "while you are it get me a Mikes Hard Lemonade".....$11.25. We walk around for a little bit making fun of the people and I get another beer $5.25. At this point I get a text from my friend Phillip Hansen telling us that he is by a bar with his fiance. Jess and I scoot on over there. We order drinks for us and them and luckily they take credit cards because I didn't want to spend any more cash. 4 beers cost me a measley $21.00. As I am standing there talking to my friend I realize I still owed him $40.00 from his bachelor party the weekend before. I ask Jess if she has any cash left and she does, she has exactly $40.00. We hand that over to PJ so there are no hard feelings. Now we don't have any cash left and it is 6pm in the late afternoon. At this point we have now spent $100.00 at State Fair with the $40.00 I owed Phillip. Phil and Andrea bought the next round and we took off to another beer tent. On the way to the beer tent Jess saw an ATM and took out another $100.00 and was charged a $3.00 fee.
We get to the beer tent and I am ready to have some fun, to make a really long story short I bought a few rounds, Phil bought a few rounds, my boss bought a few rounds and I have probably put another $80.00 on my credit card by the time Phil and Andrea needed to head out. After Phil and Andrea leave it is now time for Jess and I to get down and eat some food.
Here is what we had:
Corndog
Gyros
Nachos
Cheese Curds
Brat
And another Corn dog
The next morning Jess has $30.00 left from the $100.00 she took out. I spent $80.00 on my credit card. Grand total at State Fair $250.00.
Grand total Friday = $200.00
Grand total Saturday = $560.00
$760.00 later and all we have to show for it is a pair of sunglasses and Jess' new bangs.
Can anyone say they spent more this weekend?
The best part about it is that Friday afternoon Jess emailed me and said "should I take out $100.00 for the weekend".
Hugs and Handpounds,
Czar
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